First Aid Kit
by ElIzabeth-81
Summary: Takes place after the episode "Vexed" - an alternate reality of how Bo and Lauren begin to find their way back to one another.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, hi, hi. So this is a new Doccubus fic I have been working on this last while, it's taken me a long time to get to posting it but that's because again I wanted to have it mostly done before I started putting it out there. I'll post as I get final edits done. I hope you enjoy :)  
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**Some of the ideas for this were sparked by the spoilers coming out about Tamsin. I ended up pinching the idea of Dyson having a new partner who shakes things up, but I changed her name seeing as being a 'new partner who shakes things up' is pretty much all I think she'll have in common with the real Tamsin. If you know what I mean. I hope she'd not too cringey as an original character but Bo/Lauren will always be the main focus.  
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**Oh and P.S. to anyone who has reviewed my other long one (Those Memories Of You) since I posted it, thanks very much, you are rad.  
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**Chapter One**

_You are so beautiful._ Bo had whispered the sentence as she pushed the shirt off Lauren's shoulders to kiss her neck. She'd led her by the hand to her bed; treating her like a precious object that she might break as she'd laid Lauren down. Then Lauren had pushed Bo over onto her back, enjoying the look of surprise and then total surrender on her features.

When Lauren was alone and not absorbed in her work, all she could think about was the contrast between the perfect moments _during_ and the awful moments _after_.

It had been such a long time since she'd been touched, and she'd never been touched like that. She could read Bo's trepidation and the care she took with every movement. It made it all the sweeter. Lauren had never seen anything as beautiful as Bo underneath her, brown eyes looking upwards into her own. Then there was Bo's heartbreaking naivete when she had ripped the chain of her necklace. The look in her eyes made Lauren believe that Bo could - and should - rescue her from this life. She wished so much that it were true; Bo's words had made it seem like it could be.

Those thoughts always competed with the memory of the aftermath. The bad parts always won and made her face sting hot with shame. Words had never been her strength, especially when it came to the way she felt. She was a blurter and a stumbler. If Bo had just stopped and waited she might have been able to get her point across. She'd wanted to make her understand that she hadn't slept with Bo just because The Ash had ordered her. It had just as much to do with protection as all that, and even more to do with her own desires.

It all hung on the moment she'd first kissed Bo, when she'd finally given herself permission to do what she'd been dreaming about for months. If she could express what she'd felt in that moment, then things might never have come to this.

When she'd woken up and seen Bo dressing she was seized with panic. A quieter voice inside her just wanted to know, _how can she leave me? _Bo wouldn't be Bo if she didn't want to run off and save the world, but still she wished they'd had a few more hours of bliss before it had all come crashing down.

After Bo had left she'd scrambled to get dressed, and made the first of many desperate and unanswered calls to Bo's cell. It was difficult to go to Dyson but she didn't consider any other option, not when Bo's safety was at risk. She'd returned to the compound for an anxious wait punctuated by more calls to Bo and then to Dyson. To Bo she said - _Please call me back when you can._

She begged - _I just need to know if you're safe, and then I'll leave you alone_.

Finally she'd received a short text message from Bo that had flooded her body with relief. Then she'd heard parts of the story via overheard gossip and through a conversation with The Ash. And that had been it from Bo – all of Lauren's calls unanswered, her apologies unheeded.

Ever since that night she'd felt coiled tight and awakened from a long sleep. Being with Bo had helped her realise how much it was time to move on. It had been four years since Nadia had been freed – years rendered even longer by the sterile and lonely world she was forced to live in.

For a long time after Nadia she hadn't been able to even imagine being with anyone else. All of her love had been used up, it would be greedy to have another relationship like that in a lifetime. But she knew in her heart now that the time had come, that it was okay to fall in love again and that Nadia would not want her to be alone forever. Nadia had probably already moved on, and in fact Lauren hoped that she had. She liked to imagine her happy and in love – it would never occur to her to feel pain at that thought.

So she was ready, but there was nowhere to put the feelings that had started to fill her once more.

Whenever she saw Bo she felt shaken up in an entirely different way that she had been before. The way Bo looked at her now was hard and accusing and cold. It defied belief that they had been so intimate – that their connection had felt so intense for that brief time.

When she'd gathered that Bo and Dyson were a couple she'd had to harden herself at the news. She had no claim on Bo and never had. Still the idea of them together made her feel small, as though she'd been nothing to Bo. Perhaps it had been foolish to think that she'd ever really been in competition with him in the first place.

She wanted to be content with being Bo's friend again – with the idea of them helping one another and looking out for each other like they had before. It seemed that Bo only saw her as a source of information and as someone to go to as a last resort when she couldn't solve a case any other way. If it was the only role she could have in Bo's life, then she had no choice but to take it.

X X X

Bo's expectations were having a fistfight with reality, and reality was _really_ losing. Having fantasised about being in a relationship for so long she now found that it wasn't what she had always imagined it would be.

It was dawning on her that she couldn't just be happy with being with someone whose main appeal was that they wanted to be with her. In all of her years of being alone she'd missed the vital facts that everyone else must figure out early on – that there were other things that were important. Like feeling listened to, like being with someone who didn't make you feel lonesome, like having freedom.

At first she'd just been so happy that Dyson had committed to her. Simply, easily happy, like she could lay down the sick feeling that had followed her for so long.

She hadn't noticed the flaws until it was too late, but now that she was in so deep she couldn't imagine doing anything about it. Breaking up was out of the question. Dyson was everything that she had always wanted. He protected her, made her feel special. She needed for this to work.

The catastrophe with Lauren had only made her feel surer that Dyson was the one she was supposed to be with. Kenzi had kept trying to warn her about Lauren and she hadn't wanted to listen. Another reason why there was cause for Bo to doubt her instincts when it came to love. Everyone else had seen it coming, everyone that is but her.

She missed Lauren, and it required some effort to keep her at a distance. She missed the person that she'd believed Lauren to be. _That_ version of Lauren made her feel good about herself, _that_ Lauren helped her at all costs and made her laugh. She didn't know the person that Lauren had turned out to be - and she didn't want to know her. Sometimes she found herself weakening and wanting to talk to her again.

All that she had to do was remind herself of what Lauren had done and life could become simple again.

X X X

She'd been called to The Ash, and so she went, it was nothing more than a reflex by now. He was standing in the lobby with a small group and she was disappointed to see that Dyson was amongst their numbers. He glanced at her, displaying that cool look that he reserved for her. She wondered how much he might know – it made her feel terribly exposed to think that Bo might have told him everything.

It wasn't difficult to keep her impassive mask in place, the one that she always wore around the fae. They weren't interested in her as a person with opinions and feelings; they were only interested in her insofar as they could use her. Her limited power came from her work and so she made sure that was all that she presented of herself.

"Dyson has just been assigned a new partner. This is Detective Green. Can you do her physical immediately?" The Ash ordered.

He gestured towards a tall woman that was standing to Dyson's right. Lauren's eyes darted towards her appraisingly. If she were human she would guess her age to be in her early 30s.

"Of course. Come this way please?" Lauren asked politely. She felt Dyson's eyes on her as she guided the taller woman towards her lab. They walked there in silence. Most Light fae treated her well, but she'd found that very few of them bothered to talk to her much unless they needed something.

"Sit please?" Lauren said as she began setting up, then asked one of her assistants to make up a file. "So detective, I take it if I haven't examined you before that you're new in town?

"You can call me Ava. And yes, I'm new here, I just transferred," she answered, her voice clear and confident.

"And were you doing some other kind of work before?" Lauren asked patiently. This was the part of the dance where she pretended to not be asking exactly what type of fae she was examining. She was given more leeway due to her status as a doctor but she still had to tread carefully.

Ava watched as Lauren's assistant left the room in deference to the subject. "I was working for the coast guard upstate. I can breathe underwater. Comes in handy in that line of work," Ava said matter-of-factly.

"Oh. Are you a shapeshifter?" Lauren asked, her curiosity piqued. Ava clearly didn't mind her questions, so she might as well be direct.

"I can show you if you like," Ava said. Lauren nodded and turned away as she heard Ava moving on the table, disrobing. When Ava said that it was okay she turned and watched in wonder as Ava's legs transformed into one singular fin, shaping themselves slowly and appearing to melt together. It was rare for a fae to show themselves to her in such an unguarded way and Lauren struggled to not react too strongly.

"Mermaid," Lauren whispered to herself.

Ava looked like something out of a fairytale. Her long red hair was covering her chest, and Lauren would not have been shocked if it turned out that she was wearing clam shells over her breasts instead of her bra. For the first time she really noticed how beautiful Ava was and she cleared her throat, looking back down at her clipboard.

"Wow. That certainly _would_ come in handy," Lauren said. "How does it work, your breathing underwater?" She had read about mermaids but had never studied them in any real depth.

"That's like asking how you breathe air, my dear," Ava replied. Lauren heard the rustling of fabric as she dressed herself again.

"This is always delicate, but do you think you'd ever be willing to come and swim in one of the pools we have here? I'd love to do some tests. The Ash always likes me to archive as much research material as I can," Lauren said.

"Of course, anything for The Ash," Ava agreed, but she was looking at Lauren brashly. If Lauren didn't know any better she would swear that Ava was flirting with her.

Aside from Bo, very few of the fae had ever taken an interest in her. Although a lot of them liked sleeping with humans for various reasons, getting hit on was not something that happened very often. Not that she minded – it just wasn't the done thing to feed on The Ash's property.

"Thanks. I just need to ask you a few more questions, take an imprint of your markings if that's okay?"

"Sure, I'm game."

X X X

"Went to see Lauren today," Dyson said as they lay side-by-side. Bo stiffened at the sound of her name.

"Oh yeah?" she said neutrally. Dyson had always been jealous over Lauren; there was no need to give him any ammunition.

"Yep. Took Ava to go get checked out."

"Right," Bo answered. They'd joked about him having a new female partner and she'd already sized up the new detective. She wasn't sure that she liked Ava as much as Hale but she didn't much care one way or the other. Hale had been transferred over to work in another division; apparently the higher-ups had decided that his family connections would be of more use there. Bo knew that Hale would spend as much time outside of work with them as he always had, so it was no big deal to her.

"She's so . . . _officious,_" Dyson said through gritted teeth.

"Who, Ava?" Bo said, nuzzling into his chest.

"No, Lauren. I just don't understand why you ever liked her," Dyson said, managing to laugh and sound pissed at the same time.

Bo sighed. She spent half of her waking hours trying to get Dyson to communicate but honestly now she just wished he'd be quiet and go to sleep. Lauren was still in her bad books but he'd always picked at her for no reason, and it irritated her.

She rolled away from him. "I'm sure she was just doing her job."

"Why are you still defending her?" he challenged.

"Just don't talk about her like that, okay? It's in the past," Bo said tiredly.

"Fine," Dyson agreed.

When Dyson put his hand possessively on her hip a moment later Bo fought to not shake it off. She didn't want to think about Lauren or about why she still felt so protective of her. But when she was sliding into sleep, Lauren was all she thought about. Without her daytime filter to shut out the thoughts she dreamt that it was Lauren's warm body holding her from behind, and that Lauren had never hurt her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

There was a hypnotic beauty in the way her fin shimmered when the sunlight glanced off it. Her reddish brown hair - darkened by the water - swirled behind her. Lauren had been watching the whole time from her vantage point on the side of the pool, only looking away to write down notes and check the time. Ava had been down there for over an hour swimming back and forth in the pool, sometimes lazily, sometimes at a surprising clip.

It was rare for Lauren to work outside. She kept turning her face up to the sun, smiling at the feeling of the breeze on her skin. She'd taken off her boots and rolled up her pants. Her bare feet were immersed in the water and she swung them back and forth, moving the water around with her toes.

Finally Ava broke the surface and swam over towards her, leaning against the side of the pool with her elbows on the cement. She was wearing a simple black bikini top and it made her skin look even paler.

"So I'm not quite sure what this was for. What good is it to the Ash to know that I'm really good at swimming laps?" Ava said sarcastically, but she grinned at Lauren as she spoke.

Lauren smiled back at her a little apologetically. "I collect as much data as I can. I'm compiling a text. It'll be very well protected by The Ash. There are a lot of books about the fae but not many studies based in science."

"Uh-huh. So do you want me to pose for the glossy photo inlays?"

"Haha. Well there are a few things I can record here – how long you can breathe underwater, your speed, the muscles you use to propel yourself when you swim, that sort of thing. I de-identify all the fae I study by the way."

Ava raised her eyebrows and leaned over conspiratorially. "Sounds a bit dry. Don't you want to know other things about me too?"

"Like what?" Lauren said, laying her clipboard off to the side.

"Well, we're not really just about _that_ are we? We're not just muscles and bone and blood, like humans. No offence."

"None taken," Lauren said. She'd long ago moved on from feeling patronised by the fae, especially since most of them had no idea they were doing it.

"Well, as a human I would have thought you'd be interested in what my relationship to humans might be."

"You mean, do I want to know how you feed? You know I could never ask that. If you tell me it's off-the-record," Lauren said. She'd done some reading since meeting Ava, given that she was the first mermaid she'd met. She knew that their food sources varied; like a lot of different types of fae it was influenced by their parentage.

"My father was a Merman and my mother was an Aphrodite," Ava said. Lauren had the sensation that she were being tested; Ava wanted to see if she could figure it out.

"So do you feed on love?" Lauren clarified. She must have heard of thousands of varieties in the ways there were to feed, and that was one of the more pleasant ones.

"Bingo. Although as you must know by now we're usually a little more specific than that. If you're into classifications, and I'm guessing that you are," Ava said, splashing water playfully at her. "It's only the romantic, unrequited kind that I thrive on."

"Wow," Lauren said. She had an image of Ava like the mythical creature she seemed sometimes, out there in the ocean luring sailors towards her with a song. "So you make people fall in love with you?"

Now the thought made her uneasy. Was that what the flirting was all about? It all made sense now – she'd suspected that Ava was trying to groom her for something.

"Fall in love with me? No, I don't have that sort of power. The objects of love are always other people or fae, and I feed on that," Ava explained.

"Ah, right. Because if it were you, that might mean you'd have to be intimate with humans."

"That's really wouldn't be a problem for me," Ava said, staring at Lauren. "And it's not about the sex, it's about love. That's just the way it is, it's not something we choose."

"Okay," Lauren said. She wanted to ask more questions but the subject was starting to make her uncomfortable. Ava's gaze was intent and strong, and she had to look away.

X X X

Bo winced as she looked down at her stomach. She'd healed with Dyson since she got that cut across it, and it didn't make sense that it was still there. There had been a nasty fight with a territorial underfae over a week ago and she had been thrown through a window. It was starting to worry her, because it hurt whenever she moved. She wondered if she'd been jabbed with some kind of poison – who the hell knew what might have happened?

The answer to that was obvious. Dyson had acted petulant about the idea. He wanted Bo to just find someone else to examine her. But consulting another doctor was out of the question when there was nobody else she could trust with this sort of stuff. Besides Lauren knew her body and the way it worked. _Professionally, _of course, she thought with a trace of sarcasm.

Maybe she had even been looking for a reason to go and visit. It was hard to cut someone out of your life; especially someone whom she'd started to consider as kind of important to her. All of those years of disconnection had made her want to hang on to the connections she had even more.

She didn't call before she went over. That would be making a big deal out of it. She'd stopped visiting Lauren for any other reason than to seek her assistance with cases. Now that she had Dyson on tap to assuage her hunger - and she'd proven she could feed from humans without killing them - control had fallen off her list of priorities.

"Hey," Bo said, knocking self-consciously on the wall as she stood in the doorway.

"Hi," Lauren said with surprise, turning to look at her.

Bo felt an answering surge of hunger inside her at the sight of Lauren. There she was, sweet and sexy looking, her eyes warm pools of brown. She hated that she still felt such a physical reaction to having Lauren in front of her; it was like her body had forgotten the betrayal even when her heart couldn't let it go.

"What can I help you with?" Lauren asked quickly. Her words hung in the air, both of them feeling the coldness they embodied. There was a time when they would have started off with a bit of banter; they'd talk about their days and what was happening in their lives. Even when there was serious business to get down to they'd take their time if they could.

Bo took a few steps forward hesitantly. "Actually it's me – I'm not healing properly. I've had this cut for like a _week_ now. I'm worried there might be something wrong with me."

Lauren looked her up and down, worry spreading across her face. "Sit on the table. I'll take a look."

Bo sat down and pulled up her top. Lauren did her best to look blank, as though unaffected by the finely muscled stomach that Bo revealed. She was soon distracted as she frowned at the angry looking red cut, moving close to look at its edges. "How did you get this?"

Bo shrugged. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Line of duty. Got thrown through a window actually."

"So I would assume that you've healed since this happened?" Lauren asked the question like it was routine but didn't meet Bo's eye.

"Of course, Dyson. Many times," Bo said. There was a part of her that enjoyed the almost imperceptible flinch. It satisfied her to think that she could make Lauren feel a fraction of the hurt she'd felt.

"Any other symptoms?" Lauren pushed on. When Bo shook her head Lauren kept her eyes trained on the cut. She picked up an instrument and removed something tiny that Bo could barely see from her skin.

"Ah ha. Simple explanation, you've got glass embedded in the wound. It's not healing like it should because there's foreign material in there. I'll clean it up," Lauren explained brusquely.

"Oh, right," Bo said with relief. It made sense. She watched Lauren as she snapped on gloves. "Can you lay down please?"

Bo propped herself up on her elbows to watch as Lauren gingerly starting removing the tiny shards of glass with tweezers. Lauren had a look of intense concentration on her face.

Bo had always loved to watch her work. She was just so _into _it, no matter what she was doing. The smell of Lauren's hair and her closeness was conspiring to make Bo feel very edgy. Even the pain of having the cut disturbed was not enough to distract her from seeing Lauren in side profile, her long-fingered hands hovering over her.

She'd been thrilled to find out how skilled those hands had been when they'd made love. Had sex, whatever. It struck her that watching Lauren work was kind of like seeing her when they were being intimate. Any trace of shyness or awkwardness (although she had always been attracted to those traits in her too) melted away and Lauren became utterly confident and focussed. Bo had been pleasantly surprised by how much Lauren had taken the lead, and surprised at how much she'd enjoyed being just a little bit submissive. It was new for her and exciting.

Bo knew deep down that despite her fierce pride, she might have crumbled by now and gone back for a second time if it weren't for Dyson. She was thankful that she didn't have to worry about that decision, and that it helped her to overcome the temptation. It would do awful things to her heart to have that happen again.

"Why did you decide to become a doctor?" Bo asked to take her mind off the thoughts. She saw a smile cross Lauren's face.

"Honestly I don't even remember. My dad told me he used to catch me playing doctors all the time with my dolls, I had a whole clinic set up. I asked for a real first aid kit for my fifth birthday," Lauren said. "Just a weird nerdy kid I guess, never grew out of it."

"Not at all, that's adorable," Bo said without thinking.

Lauren looked quickly up at her, and then away. It was quiet again. "Okay, I'm all done here."

"Thank you," Bo said gratefully as she rose up. She noticed the way Lauren watched her when she pulled down her shirt, as though she was sorry to see the skin disappear.

It was starting to make her feel guilty that Lauren always dropped everything to help her out. Maybe she shouldn't have made that dig about healing. Still, she had to remind herself that the way Lauren helped her didn't necessarily mean anything – least of all that she could be trusted. For all she knew Lauren was just trying to stay close to her to please the Ash.

"You shouldn't have waited so long. You know you can come and see me any time there's a problem," Lauren said softly. It was obvious that the invitation was wider than her words indicated.

"I know," Bo said. She broke their eye contact, which had been stretching out for far too long. She smiled to diffuse the tension.

"Thanks," she said before striding out, not looking over her shoulder to witness the way Lauren looked after her as she went.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hello lovelies, and thank you for all your reviews. I've enjoyed reading your comments – some of you have ideas so good I wish I'd thought of them myself . . . **_

_**Here's another two for one chapter deal. Thanks for reading.**_

**Chapter Three**

"Where have you been?" Dyson asked as Ava finally walked into the station. His new partner had excellent investigative skills, but you couldn't say the same thing about her ability to be punctual. He'd been waiting for her to come on shift so they could head out to follow up a lead and he'd been about five minutes from going it alone.

"At the Ash's compound actually," Ava said, strapping on her kit belt. It goaded him that there was no tone of apology in her voice; she was the sort of person who took it for granted that she was worth waiting for.

"Does he have something he wants us to do?" Dyson said, annoyed that she'd consulted the Ash without him.

"Nope. I was with Dr Lewis. That study she's doing for the Ash, thought I might score some brownie points with the big guy and participate. Have you done it?"

Dyson grunted. "Not likely. I dodged my physical for a long time, I'm hardly going to be doing anything extra for _her_."

"Do you know much about her?" Ava prodded.

"Just that she's a pain in the ass, has ideas above her station, that sort of thing," Dyson said, leaning back in his chair and shoving his thumbs into his jeans pockets. It still beggared belief that the Ash was allowing a human behind the curtain so to speak, and that some of his kind actually went along with it. He'd seen nothing in Lauren to indicate that she deserved that kind of trust. "Why?"

Ava shrugged. "She's interesting. Is she seeing anyone? Claimed, by anyone other than the Ash I mean?"

Dyson closed his eyes and put his head back. Jesus, not her too. Lauren must have some kind of magic dog whistle only some women could hear. He was never going to understand the appeal. "No, she's not. I'd stay away from her if I were you if you want my advice. Too much hassle, she's too close to the Ash."

"Well, we'll see. I can trust you not to be a snitch, right?" Ava said, her eyebrows lifting as she looked at him, pausing to take stock of how he'd reacted. She'd chosen Dyson to ask about Lauren for good reason. He had an interesting attitude towards authority – seemed to fancy himself as a bit of a rogue - and she couldn't imagine that he'd be very close to the elders.

"Your secret is safe with me. Girl's gotta eat I suppose," he said sarcastically, picking up his jacket.

X X X

"Did you go and see a doctor about that cut?" Dyson said, moving to lift Bo's shirt with his fingers.

"Yep, it's all better. It had glass in it, that's why it wasn't healing," Bo said, pushing Dyson's fingers away. She was cooking them dinner and had just laid a couple of steaks into the pan. The smell of cooking meat rose up around them and she checked the potatoes to check if they were soft, mainly so that she wouldn't have to look at him.

"Where did you go?" Dyson asked, already sure he knew the answer to his question.

"Where do you think?" Bo replied distractedly. The last thing she felt like doing was getting into this.

"Well. She was a busy girl today. What else did you guys talk about?"

"Nothing. She's a doctor, she fixed my cut. And what are _you_ talking about?" Bo said irritation. Sometimes with the way he acted he might as well pee on her leg. He always wanted to know every detail of her interactions with other people, especially when those 'other people' were Lauren.

"Ava was over there at the compound today too, visiting Lauren. I gather they're spending a bit of time together. Did she tell you that?" Dyson asked.

Bo didn't offer any reaction, especially seeing as Dyson was so clearly was looking for one. Lauren used to tell her a lot about her other patients and what she was doing with them. Bo had always liked to hear it; it gave her another window into a world that she was only just beginning to understand.

"Why would she tell me?"

"No reason," Dyson said cryptically. He had turned and was walking towards the bathroom. Bo looked at his retreating back. She doubted very much that there was any truth to what he was implying. He was just trying to needle her like he always had about Lauren.

"Shit," she hadn't turned down the heat on the pan and the meat was starting to burn. She pulled it off, the pan clattering off the hotplate.

Ava was a beautiful woman. Bo knew that intellectually even if she didn't find her attractive. Ava was self-assured and seemed smart and experienced. She wondered if Lauren was into that whole diva thing she had going on. The thought of Ava and Lauren together just didn't make sense. She couldn't honestly be Lauren's type, could she?

X X X

Lauren stood apprehensively at Ava's door. After three sessions of 'study' - which mainly just consisted of them talking and flirting in various settings at the compound - Ava had invited her over.

She didn't know what the hell she was doing. Everything pointed to the fact that it was a bad idea to cross any lines with Ava. It was with good reason that Bo was the first fae Lauren had ever become close to. Of course Trick and Hale had been good to her, had treated her with respect, but they didn't hang out unless they were in a group and it was work-related. She felt unprotected coming here all on her own. Her only comfort was that Ava was light fae and she was certain that she wasn't going to get hurt. Being the Ash's ward meant that anyone who hurt her would be taking a great risk.

All that she wanted was some respite from the boredom and loneliness. In five long years, Bo was the only person who'd ever had her around for a glass of wine or anything at all. She'd forgotten how to be sociable, how to carry out all those niceties that had once been second nature to her.

Hell, even if she hadn't felt safe with Ava she'd gladly put herself in harm's way for a nice meal and a little conversation.

"Hello. Wow, you look beautiful," Ava said when she opened the door. Lauren looked down at herself, bemused. She hadn't dressed up.

"All that's different is the lack of a lab coat. Didn't go with my outfit," Lauren laughed.

"Well, you still look great," Ava said, smiling at her. Lauren noticed that Ava was dressed up as usual, wearing a skirt and silk blouse. She even had heels on even though they weren't going anywhere that she knew of.

Ava had cooked up a feast and matched it with good wine. It had been a long time since she'd felt so pampered. She found herself loosening up as the night progressed. There _was_ that slight superiority about Ava that she noticed from most fae, but she at least tried to conceal it and acted interested in Lauren's history and life.

"There's something I've been wanting to ask you since we met," Ava said.

"Shoot," Lauren said. The wine had made her a little bit tipsy. She was enjoying herself to the point where she had to remind herself to keep her wits about her like she'd planned.

"Who are you pining for?" she said, her eyes boring into Lauren.

Lauren broke eye contact and stared straight ahead, running her finger around the top of her wine glass. So this was what she was really here for. She'd never fooled herself that Ava had just invited her around for dinner and a chat. Everyone had their agenda. It could be said of humans and applied equally if not more so to the fae. "Nobody."

"We both know that's not the case. It's very strong and if I'm not mistaken, quite recent. And I'm never mistaken by the way," Ava stated.

"Well, then I'd rather not say," Lauren said. She guessed that Ava would have met Bo by now. Even if she hadn't everyone knew Bo at least by reputation. There was no reason to trust Ava with that kind of information, not when she worked with Dyson and could most likely tell him every word without a second thought.

And it was unnerving to hear that she was sending out those kind of signals – it made her feel pathetic. She wondered what it must look like to Ava. Could she read her pain? Could she see the longing coming off in waves, did it make her look desperate?

"I understand," Ava said. "I'm sorry," she put her hand on Lauren's knee. Lauren could feel the warmth of it through the fabric. She sounded so compassionate, and to her surprise she thought she could feel sincerity. If it wasn't genuine then Ava was very good at faking it.

"Just for the record, I was pretty sure that this was why you were spending time with me. I'm not that naïve," Lauren said.

"Yes. But it's not the only reason. Finding humans who are longing for someone isn't hard, believe me. There's more to it than that. I find you intriguing, I think you're beautiful. I think we could help one another," Ava said.

"How do you mean?" Lauren said, reassured by the frankness in Ava's tone. At least she was being direct. It made it feel like less of a trap.

"I can feed off people without their permission, all I really have to do is be in close proximity to them. I'd bet good money you already know that. You seem lonely and I want to help. I could be a good for you," Ava said. She was now stroking Lauren's knee, half comfort and half seduction.

Lauren looked down at Ava's hand on her leg. It did make her feel something, even if that something was a poor cousin to what she felt when Bo touched her. Perhaps being with Ava would begin to heal her. At this point she would do anything to set herself on the road to moving on.

Ava was right. She'd done her research shortly after their first meeting and found that there was no hidden catch – it did no harm to a human to be fed off in the way that she would do it. It didn't deplete the capacity for more love, and true to her word it wouldn't make her fall in love with Ava. She could see no reason why this shouldn't happen.

"We'd have to keep it a secret, obviously," Lauren said.

"Obviously," Ava agreed. She leaned forward, and they kissed.

X X X

Lauren woke up and stretched. Ava had kissed her goodbye in the middle of the night and slipped away, and she found that she didn't mind waking up alone. She couldn't envision them cuddling or going to breakfast.

It had felt strange being with someone else, more than she had been prepared for. She'd expected it with Bo – Bo being the first woman she'd slept with since Nadia - but that had just felt right. This was very different. Ava had been attentive and she knew what she was doing physically, but there was so much missing. Lauren had never been a prude but she'd never been much for meaningless sex. They were using one another no matter how nicely it was discussed, or how considerate they each were of the other.

Going to bed with someone else just made her miss Bo even more. She missed Bo's warmth, her sense of humour. There was something special about having sex with Bo that had nothing to do with her being a succubus.

With Bo she'd found something she'd wanted very badly, and then had it ripped away from her. The unfairness of that had just struck her all over again. She wondered how long she was going to feel like this.

She sighed and rolled over. What she'd just done was not a good idea. Still, she couldn't promise herself that she wouldn't do it again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Bo sought out Dyson as she and Kenzi walked into the police station; everybody knew who she was by now and nobody tried to stop them. It was one of the many perks of having a cop for a boyfriend. There had been a twist in the case they'd been working, and her first port of call was usually to check in with Dyson and now Ava.

They'd been approached by a woman who'd come home to find the entire contents of her house missing. Her son, a man in his early twenties, had disappeared at the same time. The son had since turned up as a body with unusual injuries. Bo was sure Dyson must know something about it by now.

"Hey guys," Dyson said, crossing the room to kiss Bo's cheek. Bo greeted Ava, who nodded back to her. Though she hadn't minded Ava at first she was starting to develop a dislike towards her. She couldn't help being suspicious of her motives with Lauren.

"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Dyson asked.

"We were hoping you'd know a thing or two about this dude," Kenzi said, opening her newspaper and holding up a picture of the young man who'd died.

"Funny you should ask. Fae kill. Just got assigned to finding out who offed him this morning," Dyson said, scanning the article. "We were just going to go and see Lauren, she's been working up the autopsy report."

"Great, we'll tag along," Bo said.

"Do we really all need to be there?" Ava cut in impatiently. "We can just go and see her and report back her findings to you, though you could just had the matter over to the police."

"Great. C'mon Bo, let's go down and get ourselves some breakfast, I could do with getting a little pork on my fork," Kenzi said, grabbing Bo's hand.

"No. I'd really like to go and see what the autopsy findings are myself," Bo said, digging her heels in. "Why don't _I_ just go and I'll fill you guys in instead?"

"Bo. You know this is official police business. We have to check it out ourselves," Dyson explained, smiling indulgently at her. Bo glanced at him and realised that he might actually think she was jealous of _Ava, _and thought that she was trying to cut into the time they spend alone. It didn't hurt to let him think it.

"Fine, Kenzi you go and have breakfast yourself and the three of us will go to Lauren's. Sound like a good compromise?" Bo said as though daring Ava to block her again.

"Fine," Ava agreed reluctantly.

X X X

"Hey Lauren," Bo said casually as they filed into the lab. Lauren looked at each of them in turn, her face not betraying any emotion.

"Are you all here about the Jenkins body?" Lauren asked. She went over to her desk and picked up a file. "I've been on it all morning - I've worked up a cause of death and preliminary findings but there's a lot more to do."

Lauren looked at the three of them, struggling to figure out who was the most appropriate person to give the file to. Bo stepped forward before anyone else could and took the folder.

"Can you give us a bit of a layman's run down before we look at that?" Dyson asked, putting his hands on his hips. Bo was too intent on looking at the file to notice how annoyed he was that she'd taken the file. Lauren ran through her findings.

"I've done some further research as well, you can have my notes," Lauren offered, going over to her desk and clicking open a document.

Before Bo could respond, Ava was behind Lauren. Bo's clocked how closely Ava stood to Lauren, witnessing the flare up of energy that sparked between them particularly from Ava's side. Her hand was pressed to Lauren's back possessively. Bo saw Lauren glance nervously over her shoulder and step away from Ava.

"I can print a couple of copies of this out," Lauren said.

Dyson was right; there was something going on between the two of them.

Bo snatched one of the copies out of Lauren's hand when it was done then smiled brightly at the two of them, trying to cover her irritation. After thanking Lauren she got out of there as quickly as she could.

She failed to notice Dyson's reaction when she didn't give him a second glance on her way out of the door.

X X X

Lauren was just finishing her microwave dinner when she heard a knock on the door. She had no plans but assumed it must be Ava. She opened the door with a smile that faltered when she saw it was Bo, and she tried to recover quickly. Bo hadn't been over to her apartment since before _that_ night. And she had a pretty good idea why she was here.

"Hey Bo, come in," Lauren said. She stepped aside to let Bo enter, and noted Bo's curious look around the room. Later she realised that Bo must have been looking around to check if she was alone.

Lauren allowed herself to hope for a second that Bo had come for a reason other than Ava. "Is this about the case?"

"No actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else," Bo said, leading them over to the couch.

"What's going on?" Lauren asked as she sat down awkwardly. It was easier for her to pretend that she didn't know, to prolong the moment where she might have to lie as long as she could. She was mad at Ava for being so obvious at the lab. Bo might have been able to read energy but the way Ava had touched her must have removed all doubt and made it difficult for her to deny to Bo. Lauren didn't know what Ava's motivation was, but she hated being treated like the pawn she always had been in the fae's lives.

"What's going on between you and Ava?" Bo asked, then held her breath for the answer.

"You know, I'm not really comfortable talking about this," Lauren said. She was surprised to see that despite the way things had been between them, Bo actually looked hurt.

"I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into," Bo said.

"Thanks, but I'm okay," Lauren replied. She couldn't settle on a response between vexed and touched. Bo had shown no signs of caring about her over the last couple of months – this wasn't how she wanted her to start.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," Bo persisted. "You know how a lot of the fae can be. They play games with humans."

"I know that. I'm not going to get hurt. It's nothing really," Lauren said.

"But you _are_ sleeping with her, aren't you? There's no point lying about it with me Lauren, you know what I can do."

Lauren shook her head slightly. "I'm not lying about anything. I just told you I don't want to talk about this. Thanks for your concern but I can take care of myself."

Bo shifted in her seat. Lauren could see that with Bo's characteristic stubbornness, she was not going to drop it. "Why do you have to go for Dyson's partner? Did you think that might feel a bit awkward for me?"

Lauren's mouth dropped open slightly. She hadn't thought about that, but considering that this was supposed to be so private she couldn't see how it should affect anyone else. The last thing she'd imagined was Bo finding out about it.

"I'm not doing it to get at you. And in fact, it's really none of your business," Lauren said. She felt herself slowly marching towards anger. Bo hadn't listened to her when she'd needed it the most. And yet now here Bo was, demanding answers from her.

"Fine, I'll go," Bo said sharply. "I just thought you were better than this." When Lauren didn't respond she pushed harder. "I guess you must like being treated like a pet."

Lauren heard herself make a quiet sound of disgust but no words came to her tongue. It was the most hurtful thing Bo could have said; but then she supposed that was exactly the point of it.

"I'm sorry," Bo said with a rush, already regretting her words. Sometimes Lauren was so emotionally controlled, so reasoned. When she knew what buttons would get a reaction, she couldn't help pushing on them.

"That's okay," Lauren said mechanically. She just wanted Bo to leave so that she could fall apart a little. At times like this the distance between them was a widening chasm and she felt foolish for ever thinking they could bridge it.

Lauren stared at her hands, and she saw out of the corner of her eye as Bo got up off the couch. She imagined she saw Bo's hand reaching towards her, but perhaps she hadn't meant to get so close.

Sleeping with someone else hadn't changed a thing. She still missed Bo even when they were sitting in front of one another.

"Well, I'm gonna go I guess," Bo said slowly, daring Lauren to ask her to stay.

"I'll see you around," Lauren said flatly, and she said nothing else as she saw Bo out.

X X X

Bo approached the entrance to Lauren's lab. Since the night before she hadn't been able to get it out of her head; Lauren's hurt feelings and her own. She'd wanted to talk to someone about it. As soon as she'd uttered Lauren's name, Kenzi had rolled her eyes, so she'd dropped the subject.

She'd been completely unprepared for how it had made her feel. The knowledge that Lauren and Ava were sleeping together had struck her like a blow. She _hated_ the idea of anyone else putting their hands on Lauren. When she thought about Ava's fingers touching Lauren she wanted to break them off. She wondered what they were like when they were together. Did Lauren respond to Ava the way she had to her? Did she move the same way, make the same sounds? It was torture to think about it but she couldn't stop.

Lauren was in a consultation with a big, heavily muscled fae when she walked into the room.

"Whoa, sorry I should have knocked," Bo said. She caught a dirty look from the fae, who was incongruously modest and was covering his chest with his shirt.

"It's okay, we were just finishing up," Lauren said, and they shared an amused look. It made Bo's heart skip a beat; maybe Lauren wasn't as mad at her as she'd thought.

The big guy glared at her as he walked past, an injured look on his face as he still held the fabric against himself.

"Didn't mean to interrupt," Bo apologised.

"It's okay, he's just very shy," Lauren explained. "It took me about half an hour to get him to take his shirt off."

"No wonder he needed to see a doctor, there must be something wrong with him if he didn't want to take their shirt off for you," Bo teased, emboldened by Lauren's smile. She loved watching the shy, pleased look Lauren had always gotten on her face when Bo flirted with her.

They gazed at one another for a long moment. "I didn't mean for it to go like that last night," Bo said. "I didn't come around to attack you."

"Okay." She folded her arms, speaking slowly as though carefully choosing her words. "But I just wish you wouldn't think of me like that . . . just because I'm here doesn't mean that I'm some sort of fae groupie."

"Of course I know you're not like that, that's why I worry so much about you," Bo said, her voice softening. She hesitated before saying, "I still care about you, you know."

"I didn't think that was the case," Lauren replied. She was aware that she risked sounding self-pitying but it was true; Bo's coldness had convinced her that Bo would never care about her again.

"As a friend I mean," Bo clarified awkwardly.

"I knew what you meant," Lauren said quickly.

"So we're all good?" Bo said.

"Yeah," Lauren smiled at her. She felt needy, like she would do anything to have Bo come over and hold her. She was getting ahead of herself – she'd just have to be content with the fact that Bo was even talking to her again.

Bo hesitated for a second and Lauren could swear that she was having similar thoughts.

"You can stay here for a minute if you like? We can brainstorm some stuff for your case," Lauren said, seizing the opportunity.

"Sure, that'd be nice."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hi guys, here are the next two chapters. Hope you dig them. **_

_**I am really, really grateful and pleasantly surprised by your reviews. Seeing that there are a few Bo/Lauren fanfic writers amongst you makes me realise how much I need to get off my ass and start reviewing, because I'm so slack. A lot of this story has already been done but the reviews make me want to do a good job, and hence I end up editing more than I thought I was going to! So thanks.**_

**Chapter Five**

"You've seen them lately, haven't you?" Ava said, trailing a finger down Lauren's collarbone. She still had a long leg thrown over Lauren, and the sheets were wrapped around their bodies.

"Huh?" Lauren asked. The meaning of Ava's sentence had registered exactly in the moment that she had asked for it to be explained. _I still care about you_. It had been echoing in her head for days. Bo was so free in the way she gave every kind of love that she was bursting with it; she might have said the exact same thing to Kenzi. It didn't stop Lauren from repeating it over and over again, hoping that it meant something more.

"The person you're yearning for. You're more distracted than usual, and I can taste it," Ava explained bluntly.

Lauren rolled away, shaken. It had always been easy for Lauren to understand fae behaviour; it was just a matter of being aware of where they positioned humans in their world. Nonetheless it was confronting to hear her deepest, most private feelings spoken about as though they were food.

"There's no need to be embarrassed. I just want to know who you're thinking about when you're with me. Don't I deserve to know?" Ava said.

Lauren pulled the pillow under her head to try to get comfortable, unsure of how to respond to the question. Perhaps Ava was right; she had given herself over willingly to be fed on after all. And she wondered if it meant something to Ava from a feeding standpoint. Did she want to know for only selfish reasons? Did she really care? She wished that Ava had just left afterwards, as she often did. It kept everything simple.

Lauren changed her mind 1000 times a day about this situation. She would decide that this arrangement wasn't for her, and then in the next moment she would determine that one more time wouldn't hurt. Intimacy was important – even if this wasn't what she'd ever be able to bring herself to think of as the _right_ kind of intimacy. Ava had moved towards her and had a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you. I'm trying to be sensitive in my own way," Ava laughed in a self-deprecating way. "I think I know who it is, I just thought you might want to talk about it."

"You do?" Lauren said dully. She'd suspected that Ava knew that day at the lab; only she'd hoped she were wrong.

"It's Bo, isn't it? At first I thought it was Dyson, can you imagine? There's a kind of passion between you two, I had to look twice to see that it's dislike. He doesn't speak about you very nicely."

Ava was running her fingers through Lauren's hair, while she lay silent. "But it's her, isn't it? I knew it for sure when we were all in the same room. I was experimenting to see who reacted."

Lauren sighed, closing her eyes. She didn't feel like opening herself up to Ava, and yet without Bo to talk to she really had nobody. Maybe it would just be a relief to talk about it.

"Okay yes, it's her," Lauren confessed.

"I knew it," Ava said. "I'm never wrong. Were you ever together?"

Lauren paused, because to say _not really_ did not do it justice. Yet they'd only slept together once, only kissed that one night. It was the only time they'd dropped the pretence that the relationship was purely professional. There was no logical way to describe the connection that she felt with Bo. There was no way to explain how she'd managed to fall so hard for someone that she should have never fallen for.

It had just been there, right from the start. She hadn't been able to get Bo out of her mind after their first meeting. It somehow had everything and nothing to do with her being a succubus. Despite her species she had proven to be the most "human" fae she'd ever met, and in fact her capacity for caring made her seem more human than most _people_ she'd known.

It wasn't long before she had what she'd thought of as a huge crush on Bo. The kind that gave you butterflies, the kind that she remembered from being a teenager that she had thought never came again once you grew older. It had made her blood run faster every time Bo walked into the room. A hyper-awareness had sprung up; she found that if Bo was in the same room she could think of nothing else, and she hoarded every detail of every encounter.

So Lauren started taking more care with her appearance, lingering over her hair in the mornings or spending way too long debating about what shirt to wear. She rehearsed conversations in her head and found herself marking time before she would get to see Bo again.

But all of that was just for her, she didn't want to share it.

"No. We weren't. I just care about her a lot, that's all," Lauren said finally.

"It's more than that. You're close to being in love with her, if you're not already," Ava softly insisted. "And you're not in her thrall, because that's not real love. I'd be able to sense that."

There was no point denying it to herself any more. Hearing Ava say it out loud made it true, and she suddenly felt unbearably sad. Lauren closed her eyes against the ache.

"You must know better than anyone that people can't help who they fall in love with. She doesn't feel the same way. I'm trying to let it go," Lauren said.

"Haha," Ava laughed, seeming genuinely amused by her statement.

"You're laughing at me," Lauren said, injured. She'd thought for a moment that Ava might be really trying to help; that she really wanted to listen. This was exactly why she'd hesitated to talk about it. It made her feel foolish, childish. Ava obviously thought so too.

"No, wait. Is that what you really think?" Lauren could feel Ava leaning over her. "She loves you too. You don't know how often this happens, I see it all of the time. It really keeps me well stocked for feeding, I have to say," Ava said.

Lauren looked back over at her shoulder at Ava. "What are you talking about?"

"I can see that it runs both ways. I can see love as clearly as you can see smoke or fire. And you should really be careful. This sort of thing?" Ava said, pointing back and forth between the two of them. "This is how it works. This is what passes for okay as far as the human-fae thing goes. But you can't be in a relationship with someone who is fae, even an unaligned one. You'll be punished for it, one way or another."

Lauren rolled over to look at her properly. "I'm well aware of that."

"Good. I don't much care if you two get together, although I would miss this. As you can see I'm not so hung up on protocol. But everyone else is, and that's more of a problem than you can imagine," Ava said.

"Yeah," Lauren agreed, but her mind was a million miles away from the warning. Ava seemed so sure. Could that actually be true? Bo had warmed towards her again lately but she had been trying to not read too much into it. For all she knew Ava was just saying it to wind her up, to make her feelings more intense so that she would have more to feed from. But if it were true – if it were true. It was too much to hope for. She wished again that she were alone so that she could think about it properly.

"It doesn't matter. She's with Dyson now, it's not going to happen," Lauren said to mask what she'd been really thinking.

"Whatever you say," Ava said, but she was looking at Lauren like she knew everything.

X X X

Lauren and Ava were sitting together at the bar of the Dal, drinking from the same pitcher. They'd been careful to act as though they'd come in separately and were just having a sociable drink. Ava had suggested they to go out for a beer after their afternoon in bed. It wasn't what they usually did, but their conversation had melted the ice. Lauren suspected that Ava must feel sorry for her.

They'd been trading tales about past relationships, Ava recounting to Lauren a story about one of the very few times she'd found herself in the role of the scorned lover. Ava was obviously trying to make Lauren feel better, and Lauren was touched by it.

"And I actually climbed into her window like a psychopath, only to find that she _wasn't_ sleeping with anyone else like I thought, but she was so mad at me for not trusting her that we broke up," Ava laughed and propped her hand on her chin. "God, love really does make you do stupid things."

Lauren was laughing along with her. "And she was a mermaid too? That's fascinating. You must have had so much in common."

Ava sighed regretfully. "Yeah, it took me a long time to get over that one. _Years. _Do you know how hard it was to find a mermaid who was into me like I was into her? We used to have a ball, we'd spend weeks just swimming down the coast and stopping to stay little hotels on the beach."

"That sounds lovely," Lauren agreed.

"What sounds lovely?" Bo asked, appearing beside them at the bar. She was looking between Ava and Lauren's faces in a benign way, but Lauren could see the anxiety behind her expression. Lauren licked the lips of her suddenly dry mouth and took another sip of beer. It had occurred to her that Bo might be at the bar, and she'd hidden her half-hopeful and then disappointed look around the room when she'd come in. They could have just gone to any human local place, but The Dal had been Ava's suggestion.

"We were just talking about taking a trip sometime, going away to the beach or something . . ." Ava said, grinning at Bo.

"Oh . . . nice," Bo fumbled, holding up a couple of fingers towards Trick. She frowned thoughtfully while she waited for him to deposit two bottles of beer and matching shots on the bar. "Excuse me," she said, forcing a smile at them again before she left to walk over to where Kenzi was waiting for her.

"Why did you say that?" Lauren said, looking at Ava in disbelief.

Ava shrugged, picking up her drink with a shrug. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. She's so_ jealous_. I love that stuff. It's like crack to me."

"I know you were trying to get a reaction out of her but that's dangerous. Weren't you just telling me that the human-fae thing was complicated? You can't talk about us so casually," Lauren said, looking furtively over her shoulder at Bo. Bo was staring at them but she looked away as soon as their eyes met.

"Oh come on, she already knows. Nobody else in here heard. And I just did you a favour, you can thank me some other time," Ava winked at her.

Lauren didn't answer, she just scoffed. As much as the idea that Bo could actually be jealous appealed to her, it wasn't right. Bo was just being protective, and Ava's provocations were starting to make Lauren wonder if she were right to be.

"My work is done here," Ava announced. "Thanks for a good afternoon, I'll see you next time."

Ava brushed a hand over Lauren's thigh and then walked away, looking cheekily over her shoulder. Lauren shook her head. Just when she was beginning to feel close to Ava, she was reminded of how much of a game this was to her. She looked down at her drink. It was still half full; but she'd never been a fan of drinking alone. She took a final sip from her glass and picked up her purse from the bar, settling the bill. Ava hadn't left any money.

As she walked out she felt Bo's eyes on her. She had considered asking to join her, but Bo was sitting with Kenzi and she felt the younger woman's eyes on her too. Kenzi had never hid her dislike of her, and it had been magnified since that night she'd slept with Bo. She didn't feel like putting herself forward for a round of Kenzi's insults, whether subtle or not.

She glanced at Bo, who looked back at her with intensity in her gaze. She felt stripped under it, naked.

Lauren felt her stomach drop at the somehow tangible feel of Bo's eyes on her, but she kept walking, offering nothing but an uncomfortable smile and a wave that felt woefully inadequate.

X X X

"If your eyes were lazers you would have burned a hole in her ass by now," Kenzi commented, wincing at the bitterness as she downed a shot.

"That's the worst metaphor I've ever heard," Bo said, her eyes trailing Lauren towards the door. When she'd seen Ava leave she'd hoped that Lauren might at least come and say hi properly.

"It's a fact," Kenzi said. "I know you don't like them hanging out but you gotta let it go."

Bo started to speak but quickly closed her mouth, because she imagined that Kenzi would just tell her she was being obsessive. She had no intention of dropping it, not when Lauren was at stake.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Lauren walked back into the main area of the lab. A tray of sample bottles was balanced precariously on her arm, a stack of pathology slips clutched in her other hand. She was only a foot away from Bo when she became aware of her presence.

"Jesus," she said, dropping the sheaf of papers but not the sample bottles, which was fortunate given that they contained urine.

Bo had been sitting on one of the tables, kicking her legs back and forth like a kid. She'd since jumped up to pick up the papers. When Bo handed them back to Lauren she was smiling at her - that big open grin that made Lauren's heart kick in her chest. Lauren's eyes did a quick circuit and noted the tight black pants and low-cut tank top Bo was wearing.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I was just dropping by to say hello."

"Well, it's good to see you," Lauren said as she gathered herself, taking a few steps to put everything down on a nearby table.

"What are you working on?" Bo asked, gesturing towards the sample bottles.

"I'm not really supposed to tell you that,' Lauren said. She could feel that her face was flushed; she was surprised and embarrassingly pleased that Bo would just 'drop by'.

Bo shrugged and raised her eyebrows. "Never bothered you before."

Lauren relented without a fight, smiling. For a moment it was possible to forget at the animosity Bo had held for her. "I'm running drug tests for all of the Ash's staff. The Ash heard rumours about someone bringing substances onto the compound."

"Oh yeah?"

"I have to run tests for all sorts of mystical substances I never would have known existed, and even illicit drugs manufactured by and for humans show up differently in the fae. I've had to develop all sorts of different indicators," Lauren explained, her eyes lighting up as she talked about her work.

"Right," Bo smiled. Only Lauren could get excited about urine testing. It was both weird and endearing.

"We're not really going away anywhere you know," Lauren blurted out.

"You're not?" Bo said hopefully. She didn't need to ask what Lauren was talking about, not when it had been on her mind ever since she'd seen Lauren and Ava at The Dal.

"Not even close. I don't know why Ava would say that. She has an odd sense of humour."

"Obviously," Bo said. "I don't understand what you can see in her."

Lauren's hackles rose; she thought they'd come to an understanding. Lauren was met with the familiar sensation of being treated like a toy – this time it came from being wanted only because someone else was playing with her.

"I should get back to work," Lauren said, falling back on her default position.

"Hey. C'mon, let's hang out for a little while," Bo said, her voice flat with disappointment. She'd been looking forward to coming here all day, drawn by the potential of Lauren's happiness at seeing her. It had come true, only it had already been ruined.

Lauren shrugged, shoving her hands into her coat pockets. "Fine, but can't we talk about something else for a change?"

"What?" Bo said, offended. "I didn't come here to talk about Ava, you brought her up."

"Right," Lauren said, unconvinced even though it was accurate. Still, she wondered if Bo would have come to visit if she hadn't ran into her with Ava. What if Ava had just misinterpreted a misplaced sense of ownership from Bo? Bo just didn't want anyone else to have her even though she'd moved on. Maybe Bo just hated Ava for her own sake; Lauren could see how Ava might be threatening. She was beautiful, and she was Dyson's partner.

"I'm just trying to be your friend again," Bo said, her sincerity plain.

That was the thing about Bo – those expressive eyes that couldn't lie. Lauren instantly melted. She had been about to apologise for being so touchy when the lights went down. She spun around quickly in surprise, and she heard Bo jump off the table to do the same. There was a buzzing sound as the generators kicked in and the dim back-up lights lining the walls came on.

"The power's out. Stay where you are," Lauren said, going towards the small side room where the emergency intercom was kept.

Her call was answered quickly. The disembodied voice of a guard informed her that the compound was in lock-down. There had been an assassination threat and an intruder had cut the power. The guard instructed her to stay where she was until they'd neutralised the situation.

"I heard all of that," Bo said as Lauren re-entered the larger space. "Are we even safe in here? I don't feel so good about just waiting this out."

Lauren shook her head. "You'd be surprised how often this sort of thing happens. And anyway once this room is locked down there's no getting in or out."

"What if there's someone already in here? Where are your assistants anyway?"

"It's after five, I've sent them home. We can check around, but if there were any chance someone might be hiding in the lab guards would've stormed the place already. I'm sure they know _you're_ here, they don't miss anything."

"Give me a scalpel," Bo said, business-like. Lauren smiled to herself, picking one up and unsheathing it from it's package before handing it to Bo handle first. If she were to feel unsafe she could just remember that she had one mightily protective succubus on her side.

She followed behind while Bo patrolled around the lab, checking under tables and behind doors until she was satisfied that they were alone.

"So what do we do now?" Bo said, dropping the scalpel onto a table.

"We wait. Are you hungry? I've got leftovers in the fridge."

"Sure," Bo agreed, burying the little thrill that she felt about Lauren being captive in her company for a while.

X X X

Bo dug the plastic chopsticks into her noodles. There had been several half-empty cartons and Lauren had dumped them all out onto the table.

"These actually taste pretty good cold. Not as good as cold pizza, but it'll do," she commented. "So what are we going to do after this, do you have a deck of cards? Scrabble?"

"We could always play truth or dare," Lauren dead panned. Bo was so impatient – it must be her worst nightmare to have to be confined to a room for so long with nothing to do.

"Okay, I'll go first. Dare," Bo said, looking as though she would take it very seriously.

"I'm kidding, Bo," Lauren replied.

It was quiet while Bo continued eating, looking earnestly down at her food. Lauren's eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting and she was content to just watch.

"If we'd really been playing truth or dare there would be something I'd want to ask you," Bo said.

"There would?" Lauren asked.

Bo spoke hesitatingly. "I'd want to know . . . how you came to be here."

For so long she'd avoided Lauren's offers of this big talk she'd wanted to have. She'd never wanted to take that risk; too fearful of being manipulated again. Or of being shut out like Lauren always managed to do to her in the end. There was so much Lauren had never wanted to tell her, including concealing that she was a slave in the first place.

The question threw Lauren, and she avoided Bo's gaze. "Why did you never ask before? I mean even before you were upset with me?"

"I didn't even know there was a question to ask. Trick explained it to me after we'd already known each other for months. I really thought you just worked for him," Bo said.

"I never meant to be dishonest. It just was nice for me that you didn't treat me any differently," Lauren said. A lump had risen in her throat. She could feel it all over again, that rush of shame when Bo had pitched her amulet at her. Sometimes she felt like she were frozen in that moment, when everything had crumbled.

"Just tell me. Why?" Bo said simply. She covered Lauren's hand with her own for the briefest of moments and then pulled it away, waiting.

It was easier to tell it in the almost-dark, even when she knew that Bo could see her.

Lauren took a deep breath and recited her history like it was somebody else's life. It felt so distant now that it might as well be. She spoke about the grant and the trip to The Congo, the way she had convinced Nadia to go with her. The wonder when she'd discovered the fae and had been brought into their world. The desolation she'd felt when Nadia had fallen ill.

"The Ash offered me all of the Light's resources in exchange for my servitude. It took months, but eventually she was cured."

"Where is she?" Bo said. She felt like she couldn't breathe, an unimagined world inside Lauren now revealed to her.

"It was never part of the bargain that I be freed when she got better. When she woke up I told her that I'd moved on. I did it to protect her, and so she left. That was four years ago now," Lauren said, relieved to have come to the end of the tale.

Bo was quiet at first, any words seeming inadequate. "How long did you commit for? I mean, what would we have to do to get you freed?"

_We._ The word made Lauren flinch because she wished it meant something different than how Bo intended it. But it was just the way she was; always looking to right wrongs and save the world. It was one of the things Lauren loved about her, but hearing it now made her sad.

Lauren shook her head. "My commitment is indefinite. It's better if I just focus on my work, take it one day at a time."

"But how can you _live_ like that?"

"Because I have to," Lauren said. She felt Bo's eyes on her as she got up and cleaned up the cartons, signalling that the discussion was over for her. She wasn't sure what she wanted. She'd become so accustomed to hiding herself that talking about her past placed her on the edge of panic. "Do you want something to drink? No liquor I'm afraid."

"What if you ran away? I could help you," Bo persevered, refusing to change the subject.

"I couldn't do that, it'd be too dangerous for me and for Nadia," Lauren replied.

"They've threatened her, if you run I mean?"

"It's implicit. Listen, It's going to be a long night. I thought I might lie down for a while, see if I can get some sleep," Lauren said, unzipping her boots. "I've had to do it before, these exam tables are more comfortable than you'd think."

"Sure, I'm kind of tired too," Bo agreed. Lauren had laid down and she kept her eyes on the ceiling, averting her eyes. Bo was only taking off her shoes – it wasn't as though she was undressing. But there was something so intimate about them sleeping in the same room. _Only because I want it to be_, Lauren reminded herself.

Their tables were a couple of feet apart. Lauren closed her eyes, drained from her confession. She didn't want Bo to pity her; or think her a victim.

Bo lay quietly processing what she'd just heard, a million questions raising themselves up. So much energy had been expended in convincing herself that there was something false about Lauren. That she was the sycophant that Dyson had painted her as, or the cold liar Kenzi disliked. Now she found that she'd been right to see a specialness in Lauren, a loyalty that most people never even approached. Weaker people would have tried to run despite the consequences or at least wouldn't have borne this life with so much dignity.

And then the most petty thoughts were occurring to her, the kind that she would never dare speak aloud. She was envious of this woman that Lauren had given everything up for. They must have been in love for Lauren to sacrifice so much. She wondered about Nadia – she was even curious about what she looked like.

"It's freezing down here," Bo said to distract herself.

"Yeah. I don't really notice it any more."

"Can't you turn the air con off? I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep," Bo complained.

"It is off. It'll warm up a little bit by morning but there's no heat down here." Lauren smiled to herself – she always thought of Bo as invincible but she didn't sound it at the moment. Rising, she pulled a couple of lab coats from their hooks and arranged them over Bo.

"There, see if that helps," she said. Bo thanked her. Something passed between them as Bo looked up at her, their eyes meeting. Lauren turned back to settle on her table again, but she could practically hear Bo's teeth chattering from her position.

"We can always use our bodies to get warm. I mean, I'm not - ," Lauren faltered, worried about how her words sounded. When there was no reply she wondered if she'd gone too far but then Bo was moving close, gingerly climbing up onto the exam table. The space was so narrow that she had to be careful to not push Lauren from its edge.

Lauren moved onto her side so that there would be more room while Bo positioned herself in front of her, mirroring her pose. Bo wriggled backwards just slightly, and Lauren edged forward, a wordless negotiation that soon resulted in them spooning. Lauren made a quiet exclamation about the cold - a statement meant to excuse the way she pressed closer.

"You can put your arm under my neck, you'll be more comfortable," Bo said. Lauren did as she was asked, her heart in her throat.

Bo's hunger had ignited but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling to her. There was something in the wanting so much that satisfied her, the slow burn inside. She could feel Lauren's soft breasts against her back and she deliberately moved just once against Lauren's hips. They hadn't even kissed and yet she felt like liquid heat inside.

Lauren forced herself to breathe in and out. She slid her hand down Bo's arm, rubbing it as though to keep her warm, but then it rested as if on its own accord on Bo's waist. It occurred to her that she should feel embarrassed by what her aura must be telling Bo, but she didn't care. Bo was in her arms, and it felt like she wanted to be there. Even if this didn't mean anything to her it was closer than Lauren had ever imagined being allowed again.

Bo closed her eyes. All she would have to do was turn her face back, tilt towards Lauren in the dark, and they would be kissing. It was all she could think about and she was sure that she would never go to sleep.

Miraculously she drifted off in Lauren's arms and awoke only when the lights flooded in, signalling the end of the lock down.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hi guys - apologies for being a bit later than usual, I've been meaning to do this for a few days now. Thanks for all your thoughtful, kind reviews. You're all ace. you inspire me to want to put out something I'm happy with, hence why it's taking me so long to tweak things, so ya'll only have yourselves to blame ;)  
_**

**Chapter Seven**

The harsh lighting awoke them each at the same time, their bodies stiff and sore from lying on the hard exam table.

"Ugh, what time is it?" Bo asked sleepily. She didn't want to open her eyes. Lauren's arms were still tight around her and she felt safe, warm and protected. She didn't want to surrender the feeling that had settled over her in her sleep.

Lauren reluctantly cracked one eye open to read the wall clock. "Four AM. Guess we're free to go," Lauren said.

"Thanks for keeping me warm," Bo replied. An unintentionally suggestive tone had crawled into her voice. She'd almost misspoken and said _thanks for making me hot. _It was impossible to tell whether she'd dreamed about making love with Lauren or if it was just the fact that Lauren's body had been so close to hers all night. She stared down at Lauren's hand resting loosely across her stomach. Bo arched backwards in a stretch and then cleared her throat to try to cover her awkwardness.

Lauren eased away from her and moved towards rising, so Bo slipped forward, holding on to Lauren so that she wouldn't fall over. Then Bo took Lauren's hand to help her sit up on the table, their eyes fixed on one another's as she did so.

Lauren closed her eyes and rubbed her face, wanting a moment to compose herself. She felt self-conscious and smoothed out her hair, hoping that she didn't look too ragged. Bo looked as luminous as always. "I can't wait to have a hot shower and crawl into bed."

Bo looked down at the floor, as images of Lauren naked with water sluicing over her body blazed through her mind. It was crazy but she wanted to follow Lauren to her apartment, she felt that she was somehow _supposed_ to. She was grabbed by the foolish notion that they were not meant to be parted; the conviction that Lauren was somehow her home and not Dyson.

The thought was sobering. It occurred to her that she hadn't even called to let him know where she was. They spent most nights together these days and there was no possibly that he wouldn't have missed her. He was going to be pissed when he found out who she'd been with, and that she'd even gone to visit Lauren. It hadn't been in her power to control the lock-down, but she realised that she'd practically forgotten about his existence as soon as she'd walked into this room.

"I guess I'll see you later," she said, driven by her feelings of guilt now to get out as quickly as she could. Lauren nodded and gave her a small smile.

Bo was halfway towards the door when she paused. "Oh, um, thanks for telling me what you did last night."

"That's alright," Lauren said. "I'd been wanting to tell you. I never knew how to bring it up."

"I understand," Bo said, and she meant it. How much Lauren must have suffered all these years; and how much she'd sacrificed for someone else. She wanted to talk more, and was beginning to wonder if she should even apologise for how she'd been lately. The information cast a new light over everything.

But she could feel herself getting in too deep. It was dangerous, and she didn't like what it said about her. She wanted to prove that she could be faithful; the last thing she wanted was for Dyson to feel like all of his fears and accusations had been proven true.

"Okay, well I'll see you later," Bo said, embarrassed by how long she'd been standing and staring. "Now I'm really going."

X X X

Lauren woke up after napping, and felt a strong pull of sadness pass through her as she realised that she was alone again. She could still feel the soft weight of Bo pressing against her, the feeling of her hair against her fingers.

It took a moment to become aware that she'd been woken up by the buzzing of her cell phone next to her on the bed. She picked up the vibrating phone and saw that it was Ava, and she bit her lip, tapping the phone against her thigh. She let it ring once and then again before she finally decided to answer.

She was so keyed up from a night lying against Bo that she agreed to Ava's offer of a visit against her better judgement. Lauren felt like she was always reaching for something she couldn't quite grasp, like their lovemaking was a shadow of what it was supposed to be. By the end she was almost crying. When it was over she lay there quietly, feeling Ava's eyes on the side of her face.

"That was the last time, wasn't it?" Ava sighed.

Lauren turned to look at her sadly. "I'm sorry, but yes."

"I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. She's all you can think about, isn't she?" Ava said.

Lauren avoided the question. She pulled the sheet around herself, feeling naked in every sense. "I feel like I'm using you."

"We're using one another, remember?" Ava said, frowning at the silly human.

"I know. But that doesn't make it right. Not to me," Lauren said. She had always known that it was never going to be enough, but now she felt like she was making a mockery of her own feelings. It didn't matter if she could never be with Bo; this was only going to make it worse.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," Ava said, sitting up in bed to light a cigarette. "Just make a move for God's sake will you? I won't feed from you any more if that's what you want, but if we're going to be friends then that's my suggestion."

Lauren smiled ruefully to herself. Ava made it sound so simple. "Weren't you just telling me that my trying to get into a relationship with a fae was a bad idea?"

Ava cocked an eyebrow at her as she released a plume of smoke. Lauren watched her for a long moment. She had a _mermaid_ in her bed who looked like a 1940s pin-up, and they were talking about another woman. It would be nice if she could transfer her affection or even attraction to Ava, but it was impossible.

"Sure, I said it was a bad idea, but love is always a bad idea to someone. It's not going to stop the way you feel is it? The only love worth having is the kind you have to fight for. And who wants to be boring anyway, right?" Ava finished, pointing towards her with her cigarette.

Lauren waved the smoke away. She'd asked Ava not to smoke in bed more than once but she still persisted. "None of this matters. I keep telling you, she's with Dyson,"

Ava waved the mention of him off with her hand. "Please. I've come to respect Dyson, but he's not competition for you. I think you're the only one that really believes that."

X X X

As soon as she'd left the compound Bo had pulled her phone out from her pocket, wincing at the amount of calls she'd missed from Dyson.

Bo texted to say that she was alright and then went over to his place to amends. On the way she'd picked up coffee and donuts, feeling all the while like she was a cheating guy bringing flowers to overcompensate.

Of course they'd done nothing but fight. Dyson explained angrily had stayed up all night, spending part of it looking for her, and he was edgy the whole time. He made her promise that nothing had happened between she and Lauren. Bo felt like she was lying when she said that it hadn't, despite the technical truth of it.

There were times when she had spiteful thoughts about how she should just sleep with someone else and be done with it. If she were going to have to fight about it all of the time she might as well have the pleasure too. Still, when all was said and done it wasn't about that.

_You just don't cheat. _

It took her some time, but she finally convinced him that they'd done nothing but wait for the lock-down to end. She omitted almost everything else, especially the part about cuddling up to Lauren. It was beyond her imagination how much he would hit the roof at that detail.

There were questions she wanted to ask Dyson. Had he known about why Lauren was enslaved? Did he know how they were keeping her there with their threats? She couldn't stop thinking about it, turning it over in her mind. How could he treat her like he did if he did know? She'd been judgmental towards Lauren herself;Trick's explanation making her feel that lack of respect towards her. The thought made her feel ashamed now.

For one of the first times she could remember lately she felt anger towards Dyson for his place in the fae world. She didn't understand how he could bear to be aligned with someone that would treat humans that way. Even if he did know about Lauren's circumstances Bo could bet that he wouldn't care or give it a moment's thought - and that bothered her.

What did he really care about, anyway? He was starting to appear so world-weary and simple to her. All he ever showed her was lust, possession or anger, that was the extent of his complexity. Maybe it was never going to be enough.

"So will you go with me?" Dyson's words broke into her thoughts. After they'd finally finished sorting everything out they'd gone to bed, and she'd insisted that she was too tired to do anything but sleep despite her sharp hunger. It would have felt wrong to feed from him now, while her thoughts were full of Lauren. The thought didn't reach her conscious mind but she knew it all the same. It had been eight in the morning by the time they'd laid down. Although she was used to skipping sleep for work by now, she felt like her eyes were going to fall out of her head.

She'd just been dozing and thinking, unaware that Dyson had started to talk about the reason he'd initially started calling her the night before.

"Go where?" Bo groaned. Her eyes still felt sandy and sore.

"I was saying, we have this ridiculous human invention of a police ball coming up. Want to be my date?" Dyson said, dropping a kiss on her shoulder.

"When you make it sound like such an appealing event, how could I say no?" Bo replied sarcastically.

"I can't wait to show you off," Dyson said in a low voice against her ear. Bo thought guiltily how that would have given her shivers as recently as a week ago. Now he was just annoying her.

"Sounds great," she said, to mask her reluctance.

"Good," he said finally, leaning against her and pulling her tightly into his arms.

Maybe it would actually be nice. It could help to rekindle things for her and remind her of why she'd fallen for him. Surely it was normal for the intensity to die by degrees like it had; they just needed to work at their relationship more. _She _needed to work at it more. They could benefit from spending more time together doing things that didn't involve cases – or arguing. It would be nice to get all dressed up and go for a night out.

She wondered if Ava would be there, and then realised with irritation that of course she would be. According to Dyson she was a ladder climber when it came to work, and Bo guessed that someone like her wouldn't miss the chance to network with her superior officers.

Bo decided she'd have to enlist Kenzi's help to get the right dress. Thinking about Ava brought out her competitive streak – she wanted to make sure she'd look better than _the little mermaid_, as she had derisively come to think of her.

At least Lauren wouldn't be there with her; so there would be no chance she'd have to see them together again. They wouldn't risk being seeing publicly as a couple.

She visualised what it would be like if she were going to an event like this with Lauren. Lauren would look beautiful in a dress, but her fantasy involved Lauren wearing a well-cut suit with her hair flowing over her shoulders. When she entered a room with Lauren on her arm everyone would stare; admiring the contrast between them and the way they complimented one another.

That was the shallow part of the fantasy – then there was another layer where she just imagined how they would treat one another. They wouldn't be fighting all of the time and there would be no need for anyone to be possessive. It would just be about two people appreciating one another for who they already were. She could imagine Lauren's hand in hers, the two of them walking side-by-side.

She guiltily brought herself back to the life she was living instead of the one that she was wishing for, and slept.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"What do you think?" Bo asked, adjusting the straps of her dress.

"Hot, hot, _hot_. Dyson is going to pop something when he gets a look at you in that thing. Twenty bucks says you won't even make it to the dance once he sees it," Kenzi said, clapping her hands together. "I feel like an artist, and you're like the Mona Lisa I painted."

"Aww," Bo said. "You're sweet, thanks for helping me." She examined herself and she had to agree she looked pretty good. Kenzi had done a great job in choosing a dress that bought out her best features. It was a soft red silk that reached almost to the floor, with a sash that tied above her hips and accentuated her waist.

Still, Kenzi's words left her feeling cold. She found that she didn't care all that much what Dyson thought of what she wore – he never took much notice of stuff like that anyway.

"Only Mona Lisa doesn't have jugs like yours of course," Kenzi joked, putting an arm around her as they stood side-by-side in front of the mirror.

"You had to get that in there, didn't you?" Bo laughed. She heard a knock on the door from downstairs and moved to answer.

"Wait, I'll get it, you change. You don't want him to see you in your dress before the big night! It's bad luck," Kenzi said, holding out a hand like a stop sign.

"This isn't our wedding doofus. Anyway it'll be Lauren. She's bringing over that file I asked her for," Bo replied, pushing past her as Kenzi rolled her eyes.

"Great, the Snow Queen," Kenzi said under her breath. "I'm out, I'm going to hit The Dal for a drink," Kenzi said more loudly to Bo, who was single-minded in her heading towards the door.

"Okay," Bo called out, not listening to either part of what she'd said.

Bo opened the door and smiled at Lauren, whose eyes dropped appreciatively down to take in the dress. Her eyes widened and Bo could swear she saw her swallow. Lauren dragged her eyes back to Bo's face.

"Hey," Lauren said, holding out the file towards Bo. "I put a few post-its through there highlighting the stuff you asked about. If you need me to go through anything in more detail you can give me a call."

"Thanks. Did you want to come in for a drink? I'll just go and change," Bo offered, pointing vaguely over her shoulder.

"Yeah sure. What's the occasion anyway?" Lauren asked. She pushed the door closed behind her, her eyes once again trained on Bo's body encased in the dress.

"Nothing too exciting. Just the police ball," Bo replied and Lauren nodded coolly.

"Hi Lauren, bye Lauren," Kenzi said as she breezed her way through the living room and outside. Lauren waved at her and went to sit on the couch, feeling deflated. Maybe she shouldn't have accepted Bo's invitation inside. The mention of the police ball had brought her train of thought straight to Dyson, and Bo was wearing that dress for him.

"So, what'll the lady have?" Bo said as she came back into the room. Lauren sat up straighter on the sofa, pulling it together.

"Coffee would be nice. The dress is beautiful by the way," Lauren said, remembering her manners. Beautiful was hardly adequate as an adjective; however it would be inappropriate to gush about it like she'd like to. Bo looked like she was born to wear a dress like that. _Lucky Dyson_, she thought glumly.

"Thanks," Bo said, and if Lauren didn't know her better she would swear that she was ducking her head in embarrassment. Modesty really wasn't Bo's strong point, but that was okay. Somehow Bo managed to pull off that delicate balance of being utterly confident but not arrogant.

"I don't know _how_ I'm going to survive this dance though. I skipped the prom of course and I haven't been to a dance since middle school. I don't know how to dance outside of a nightclub, or the living room," Bo said as she bustled around the kitchen making coffee.

"Can you waltz? That's all you'd really need to be able to scrape by I'd think. Thanks," Lauren said, taking the mug from Bo. For a second she was fixed on the way their fingers brushed against one another's.

"No, I have no idea, seriously. I'll have to learn."

"I can teach you right now, it'll take about five minutes, it's simple." Lauren put the mug down on the coffee table and jumped up from her seat.

"Really? You know how to dance?"

"Sure," Lauren said, playing it off like no big deal when in truth she was enjoying the look of surprise on Bo's face. There was still so much they didn't know about one another.

"I'm leading, so you put your hand on my shoulder," Lauren explained. She put her hand on Bo's waist and they clasped their free hands. "Now when I step forward you put your foot back. That's right, you've got it." She counted out the steps and soon they were moving in time.

"Wait a minute, we need music," Bo said, flicking on the radio Kenzi had liberated from someone's warehouse, and ran back to Lauren.

"See? You're doing it already. I knew you'd be a good dancer," Lauren said.

"Oh yeah? Why?" Bo asked. She wasn't wearing shoes and Lauren's heeled boots meant that she had to turn her face slightly upwards to look at her. She could feel Lauren's fingers spread out over her waist. They were standing far enough apart to be appropriate but she could feel herself drifting forwards; trying to get closer without thinking about it.

She could feel the heat from Lauren's body. It took a lot of strength to not press herself against her.

"Just a feeling," Lauren said, averting her eyes from Bo's face in a way that made it clear exactly what was on her mind. Bo looked down to avoid staring at Lauren's mouth and her eyes landed on Lauren's collarbone and neck. It would be so easy to lean forward, to put her lips on exposed skin and draw out a moan from Lauren's throat.

She erupted in giggles when she found herself being dipped. "Well done. You've just got to go with it when someone else is leading, move the way they move," Lauren said, smiling cheekily. She'd done it to make Bo laugh and to dispel some of the sexual tension that was brewing between them. Their mutual laughter made it thicken. They were struggling against one another, Bo trying to bend her in kind, their legs coming closer, thighs pressed together.

Lauren was about to step away, knowing that it was time to end this, when the song changed to one with a slower tempo. There was an edge to their silence, a dare. Bo stepped forward into Lauren's arms, taking her hand again so that they could move slowly.

All of the cold distance between them – the distance that had been slowly disappearing – no longer existed at all. Lauren closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want to think about the fact that she was helping Bo prepare to dance with someone else. So she focussed on the warmth and press of the body against her, and hoped that Bo couldn't feel her heart thudding through her shirt.

They were barely moving, and it had turned into not much more than an embrace. For someone so strong Bo really was incredibly soft. Lauren put a hand to the small of Bo's back.

The song was through before Bo moved away from her, and then she was looking down into Bo's brown eyes, which she could see were staring at her lips. Bo grabbed her by the front of her shirt, her fist bunching up the fabric, and pulled Lauren firmly towards her so that they could kiss.

It was agonisingly slow, the way Bo's mouth moved over her. Bo's tongue was at her lips, asking her to open her mouth. She did, and heard herself moan when that tongue slid against her own. They kissed for a long minute - Bo grazing her teeth over Lauren's lower lip. Bo was kissing her hungrily, like it was something that she'd been wanting to do as much as Lauren had been craving it.

And then it was over, too soon. Too much space between them; Bo's face regretful and disbelieving.

Lauren's hands had been resting on Bo's hips and she'd started to move them upwards along Bo's back towards her hair, but her hands had stilled when Bo had pulled back. She wanted to lean back in, keep going and erase that look from Bo's face.

_Dyson_. God, how could she think Bo had really wanted to do this? She stepped back, Bo's face making her feel only a little shy of heartbroken. The apology was almost out of her mouth before she remembered that she didn't have anything to apologise for, that it hadn't been her who had initiated any of this.

"Lauren . . ." Bo started.

"Don't . . . you don't have to say anything, I'm leaving," Lauren said. She couldn't bear to listen to Bo hash out all of the reasons why what had just happened was a mistake.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that," Bo persisted. She'd put a hand to her mouth, her fingers covering her lips as though she couldn't believe where they'd just been.

"I know," Lauren said quickly. "Don't worry about it. I mean, it's instinctual for you isn't it? It must be almost like a reflex, and having another person's pheromones right on top of you like that must be like waving food in front of someone who's hungry," Lauren rambled.

"I'm not some sort of animal," Bo snapped, clearly hurt.

Lauren shrugged helplessly. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"What _did_ you mean?" Bo said.

Lauren stared back at her. She didn't understand how this had been turned back around onto her. She'd just been trying to make things less uncomfortable; to try to stop Bo from looking at her that way. It seemed that if she gave Bo an 'out' - reduced the whole situation back to something that just couldn't be helped – then things wouldn't be so bad.

"Nothing. Have fun at your dance," Lauren said, picking up her jacket stiffly and walking to the door. She was half-hopeful and half-dreading Bo trying to stop her, but she didn't.

Bo released the breath she'd been holding and sank down onto the couch, putting her head in her hands. "Shit," she said softly to herself. She had screwed up so, so badly.

She was still sitting on the couch when Kenzi came home. "It was dead as disco at the Dal tonight. Lauren gone?"

"Yes," Bo said through her teeth.

"What happened?" Kenzi asked, already on the couch and looking at Bo expectantly.

"Something really, really bad."

"You made out didn't you?" Kenzi guessed. She was shaking her head. "Bo, what are you _doing? _Dude, howcan you do this to Dyson?"

"Can't you say something comforting instead of making me feel worse?" Bo pleaded with her. She loved Kenzi and she knew that Kenzi loved her, but her honesty could be too much. Sometimes she just wanted to get away with a little self-deception, but Kenzi would never let her do that.

"Honey, you are so transparent. Did you or did you not deliberately get dressed up before Lauren came over?"

"No?" Bo said. It seemed like a horrible thing to admit to herself of anyone; but she supposed that she had wanted Lauren to see her in that dress. She put her hands over her face again. "Shit."

"What are you going to do? Are you gonna tell Dyson?"

"I don't know," Bo said. Just the thought of talking to him about it was enough to make her want to break out in hives. "I guess I need to work a few things out."

"You do, before anyone gets hurt. And that includes you," Kenzi said, putting her arms around Bo. Bo rested her head on Kenzi's shoulder and closed her eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thanks ya'll for every review long and short. I read and appreciate them all and love seeing your reactions. I'm not far from going on a road trip and I've got a goal of getting this all posted before I leave, so you're not going to have to wait long for the end. **_

**Chapter Nine**

"You look so beautiful." She saw Dyson's reflection coming closer and he put his hands on her shoulders, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"Thanks," Bo said uncomfortably, twisting away from him. "Sorry, just got to finish doing my hair."' She couldn't get enough air; the walls were closing in on her. Dyson's affection – having once made her so happy - felt cloying. It was a sensation she had never experienced before and one she wouldn't have even thought herself capable of, especially with him. She busied herself, fussing with her hair. It was a means of avoiding that disappointed look clouding his face, the one that she'd noticed three or four times over the last few weeks.

"You look very handsome," she blurted out, trying to make amends.

"Thanks," he put his hands in his pockets and looked down at himself. He did look very good in a tux, even more so when he smiled. The happy expression disappeared and he became serious again, the lines of his forehead showing as he frowned. "Bo, is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine. Why?" she said, a deer in the headlights. The last couple of weeks represented the longest that they'd ever gone without having sex, and he had to know that for a succubus that was a big deal. Every time he seemed close to broaching the subject she changed it, and tonight was not going to be any different.

He shrugged. "Nothing. You just seem a little . . . off. I don't know."

"That makes two of us, cos I don't know what you're talking about," Bo denied. She was going to have to talk to him soon, puncture that big ball of guilt that had taken up residence inside of her, but now wasn't the time. He'd made such a big deal of this event. All she wanted to do was to just go, pretend to have a good time, and get it over with.

It worked. Dyson clammed up again, irritated. Without speaking they'd made a tacit agreement that they were going to put any problems behind them for tonight.

X X X

Everyone's eyes were on them as Dyson escorted her into the room. Pride radiated from him as he showed her off. Under any other circumstances she would have been flattered by it. Tonight it just made her angry that he liked being with a succubus and the associated effects only when it suited him, only when he could bask in any reflected glory.

"I'm going to get a drink," she told him. "You go mingle with your cop buddies," she added to make it seem that she was only being accommodating, rather than escaping. He'd waved to Hale and a group from what she assumed was the narcotics department as they walked in.

Bo approached the bar and ordered herself a drink. At least the booze was free, so the night wasn't going to be a total bust. Dyson had implied that the tickets were expensive and she planned to get his money's worth. "Make Kenzi proud," she joked to herself as she downed her first drink.

She returned to the bar a couple of times within the hour. There were duties she had to perform and so she did them through her alcohol-induced haze, being introduced to several of Dyson's colleagues and listening as he whispered in her ear about their position or powers (if they were fae).

"Hi there Bo," she heard a voice at her side. She turned towards Ava, smiling falsely, and accepted the kiss on the cheek she offered as a greeting. Ava stood back to look her up and down. "You look lovely."

"Thanks," Bo stated. She refused to return the compliment although it would have been true if she'd wanted to. Ava was wearing an emerald-green coloured gown that matched eyes and contrasted beautifully with the colour of her hair.

"So who did you come with?" Bo questioned her. The answer couldn't be Lauren, but Lauren had said they had a 'casual arrangement'. Surely that extended to dating other people.

"You mean who is my _date_? I'm alone, I actually don't understand this desperate need some people have to show off who they're screwing," she said, throwing a look over her shoulder towards Dyson.

Bo's temper flared. What was her problem? Who could possibly have an issue with people coming to an event like this with a date? Ava had said it as contemptuously as if the rest of them were high school kids at a prom and she was the lone adult who'd wandered in. It had always seemed to Bo like Ava had a superior attitude, but this was a new high.

"Some people are proud of who they're with," Bo said, shrugging. She kept observing Ava out of the corner of her eye as she took a drink out of her glass. "Some people wouldn't hide the person they were seeing even if it meant compromising some stupid political rule."

She saw the corner of Ava's lips twitch upwards into a smile.

"That's easy for someone who won't even pick a side to say. You're completely ignorant about our politics."

"Not can't, won't," Bo corrected her.

"Whatever, your whole unaligned deal really bores me to be honest." Ava said. "And I don't need to parade anyone around. All I need is to be satisfied in private, and believe me I am."

"So much for not needing to show off," Bo rolled her eyes. "And I suppose you think you're the only person in the world who's satisfied with what they have?"

She'd fully turned to look at Ava now, a defiant hand on her hip. This was the most fun she'd had all night. She'd always wanted to go toe-to-toe with Ava, she'd just never had a good reason before.

Ava looked at her, hard. "Not as satisfied as you could be though right? I don't know how you could pass up that tasty little doctor. She makes a great little pet, although you'd know all about that with dog boy."

Bo reached out and grabbed Ava's arm, digging her fingers into the soft flesh. She stepped forward close enough that it was concealed from anyone behind them, which was most of the room. Maddeningly Ava didn't react; she just kept looking down at her with the same bold grin.

"Show some respect," Bo said through her teeth. It had ceased to be a game to her, and her anger was glowing red hot.

"Oh I am. I respect her very much. I especially respect that thing she does . . . you know when she -"

Bo grabbed her arm harder. "Stop it right now. I don't know what she's doing with someone like you and I don't want to hear about it. But if you do _anything_ to upset her, anything at all, I'm coming after you." She released Ava's arm and turned back to the bar, picking up her drink.

"If you care so much then why aren't you with her?"

Bo stared straight ahead, her breath frozen in her throat.

It was a question she had not dared to voice to herself. For the past few weeks she had been missing Lauren terribly; every train of thought leading back to her. Bo's daydreams had become torture because all she did was think of the thousand excuses she could use to insert herself back into Lauren's life again. Bo wanted to just go to Lauren so badly – but she had learned how to control her hunger and she would conquer this.

She felt Ava step up close to her and forced herself to not flinch or move. Ava was close enough that she could feel her breath.

"Seeing as you're new to this world I'm going to give you some free advice. You're fae, you're supposed to get whatever you want. So stop acting like a stupid human."

Bo felt Ava brush past her as she finally walked away, and Bo exhaled. She turned her head and noticed that Ava was lingering beside her, breathing in and out deeply. She had no idea what Ava was doing, but could only conclude that the woman was a _freak_.

What the hell did Ava know about her, anyway? It made no sense that she would brag about Lauren and then basically tell Bo to go for it. She was a game-player, and not worth worrying about. Not wanting to think about it, she ordered another drink.

X X X

When they got home Bo fell into bed, more drunk than she'd ever been, possibly even drunker that Kenzi on her messiest of nights. The edge of tomorrow's hangover was already pounding into her skull. Dyson got into bed next to her after stripping down to his underwear.

"Bo, don't you want to at least take of your dress?" he said, his deep voice rumbling towards her ear and making her head throb even more.

"No, I don't," she said, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"Suit yourself, but you're going to be very uncomfortable."

"I don't care," she grumbled.

"Bo, what's wrong with you? You spent the whole night propping up the bar, and after a while you didn't bother speaking to anyone I introduced you to. That's not the Bo I know."

"Well, whichever Bo I am wants to go to sleep, so shut up," she snapped.

"Nice," he replied. She felt the bed shift as he got up, and she cracked an eye open enough to see him pick up a pillow. He was going to the couch, which was what he always did when they fought. It was supposed to help them both cool off but tonight it just made her feel relieved to be alone.

X X X

When she rose the next day he was gone and the blanket was folded neatly at the end of the sofa. She sat down and slumped on it, her stomach queasy and her mouth tasting like rocket fuel. Her hangover was of the incurable kind, and she knew she wasn't going to feel good any time today. She felt emotional and raw; ready to spill, like she needed a good cry. She told herself that it was just the alcohol leaving her body, it was just the blues.

Thinking about the way Ava had spoken of Lauren brought a fresh wave of rage. The night was somewhat fuzzy in places, but she could remember that conversation very well. She was so tired of the fae and their attitudes towards humans, their need to dominate and own.

The thought of Lauren being subservient to anyone made her furious. She still couldn't understand how Lauren could put herself in the position that she had by sleeping with Ava. If she were with Lauren she would never, ever act as though her difference made her less than equal.

But really, what chance did Lauren have in their world? She was cut off from humans and that had to be isolating. Ava was exploiting that. Who did Lauren have to fight for her, to speak to her cause? According to the fae she was just theirs to be passed back and forth like a toy, and it made her sick.

She imagined herself saving Lauren from The Ash, setting her free. It was a recurring fantasy for her – it had been ever since Lauren had told her the real reason why she was his slave. Now she wondered, why hadn't she ever actually tried?

Things had been clouded for the past few weeks. She'd been confused; maybe a little bit paralysed by her feelings. It was clear to her now and she knew it was true as soon as it had occurred to her.

She had to do something. She wanted to have Lauren released from the Ash's control, so that she could be free.

X X X

She had always been a do-er. It had been vital in all those years when she'd been running, fighting to keep any semblance of a life. When thinking could cost you so much, you picked a path and you followed through. That was as complicated as it needed to be.

In the absence of a compass she'd had to find her own. It was hard to care about systems and hierarchy when the world had turned upside down. She didn't respect the Ash just because of his position, and she'd seen nothing from him so far that earned her respect all on his own.

There was a time when she would have knelt down for someone like him – she'd been obedient, believed in everything her adoptive parents ever told her. Like don't have sex before marriage. Like idle hands are the devil's plaything; like all you need is hard work and family to have a good life. That had been ripped away from her and with it had gone any sense of the world as ordered.

The last year had changed her again. Since the one she grew up with had been lost she had been craving a family; and she'd made a good one. She and Lauren weren't so different really. They'd both been stripped of their families by the fae world. But the difference was that she'd had Kenzi to help her, and Dyson, and Lauren herself. It was time to repay that.

These were all of the things she thought about as she waited for him to come down from his throne. Not literally of course, but he might as well. She was waiting in the lobby looking at the white walls and expensive art. All powerful people liked to shove it in your face – they needed the illusion that they were special.

She hadn't spoken to anyone about her plans. It was easier to come here and put herself in this position than go to speak to even Lauren. She hadn't sorted through her feelings about kissing her – hadn't really examined the implications for her relationship with Dyson. It could all wait.

"It's always a pleasure to see you. What can I help you with today?"

Bo forced a smile as she saw the Ash enter the room and heard his gravelly voice. _This is __for her, this is for her_. The thought was the only thing that stopped her from turning around and walking out immediately.

"I've come with a request. I want to know if there's anything I can offer you in exchange for Lauren's freedom."

"What a ridiculous question."

Her hackles rose. "I don't see how it's ridiculous. You can't just keep her here under your power forever."

He laughed, open-mouthed and obnoxious. "No, I don't mean that. You know that there is only one thing you could ever have to offer me that would be of any value, and that is your commitment to the Light."

Bo blinked but kept steady. In her typical hot-headed way she hadn't even thought about his asking for _that_, but it really was gob-smacking in its obviousness. "I would need to think about something that serious."

"So go away and reflect, then come back to me when you've made up your mind. The terms are simple. If you swear your allegiance to me then I'll release her from my protection and she can come under yours."

"I'll consider it," she said. She turned away from him a little unsteadily. No doubt if she'd turned around to look at him he would have been laughing at her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

For the rest of the day she'd obsessed over the offer, turning it over in her mind, considering doing something she'd never dreamed that she would. Bo had no desire to join the Light. Nothing had ever swayed her, not Dysons' gentle pushing, not the Light _or _the Dark's threats and manipulations. She might be still ignorant in some ways about the world she'd entered - but that was one certainty that she'd always clung to.

Now she was supposed to be watching TV. Kenzi occasionally passed her the bowl of chips she kept clutched in her arms. They were both suffering through their hangovers by eating and watching the nature channel, enjoying the companionable silence.

Behind Bo's eyes all she could see was the image of her offering Lauren her life back, being able to be the one who could tell her that she didn't have to work for the Ash any more. She kept imagining how she would say it, trying to visualise the look on Lauren's face when she found out. A promise would be made - she'd protect Lauren and keep her safe like she did with Kenzi, and of course she would be Lauren's owner only nominally.

It had occurred to her that she should talk it through with Kenzi but had determined to keep it to herself for now. Kenzi would pitch a fit when she found out, as would Dyson. Instead she'd gone fully into slouch mode - she'd showered and then hadn't bothered to dress – and was now damp-haired and wrapped up in her kimono. They'd just ordered a pizza and neither of them had any intention of moving for the rest of the evening.

A knock sounded on the door and Bo rolled her eyes, assuming that it was Dyson. He had tried to call a couple of times and she'd tried to ignore it. She reluctantly got up from her seat. The last thing she felt like was going another round of fighting but once he got really riled up he could never let things rest. Kenzi got up as well, discreetly disappearing into her bedroom.

When she opened the door her heart started hammering in her chest, and she felt a rush of heat to her face. Lauren was standing there.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Sure," Bo said, holding the door open, her eyes following Lauren inside and flicking up and down to take in the jeans and T-shirt she was wearing. Seeing Lauren dressed casually wasn't something she got to see very often, and she looked unbelievably good.

Bo snapped herself back to the situation. It would only make things worse to go lusting after Lauren after the mess they'd already gotten themselves into. She didn't know what on earth she was going to say. If Lauren were here to talk about _them_, to talk about that kiss, thenit might be best just to play it off for now. It was better to put it all on hold while she figured out what she was going to do about everything.

"C'mon, let's go upstairs," Bo replied. Lauren was quiet; she hadn't said another word since Bo had invited her in. Kenzi could come out of her room any minute, her curiosity always got the better of her eventually.

When they reached her bedroom Bo sat down on the bed and Lauren stood uneasily near the doorway. "Okay, I'm listening," Bo said unenthusiastically.

Lauren was looking at her with an expression that she couldn't understand, except that she looked more serious than she usually did. And she was hugging herself, wrapping herself in her own arms as though for protection. Bo didn't know what to make of it – she was expecting more anger after the way she'd behaved when they last saw one another and the fact that they hadn't spoken since.

"Did you have any intention of telling me what you've been talking to the Ash about?" the way she said it was soft, reverent, and yes, now there were traces of anger.

Bo shook her head. She shouldn't have expected silence from the Ash, given how tight he seemed with Lauren and how manipulative he was. Still it had seemed unnecessary to mention to him that it was just supposed to be between the two of them for now. She hadn't wanted Lauren to know yet – and not just for the selfish reason of wanting to be the one who told her. She hadn't even made up her mind yet, and for once she were trying to not be impulsive about something. She'd needed time to work it through on her own.

Lauren crossed the floor and bent down a little to put her hands on Bo's shoulders. "You listen to me. I don't want you to do this," she forced eye contact, and although Bo at first looked away she couldn't stay that way, not when Lauren grabbed her by the chin and gently moved her face so that they were looking at one another. "The fact that you would even think about it means a lot to me . . . more than I can tell you. But it wouldn't be right."

"Why not?" Bo's heart sank. So much for all of her romantic fantasies. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

"Bo, I shouldn't have to tell you why not. I know how much your freedom means to you. There's no going back on your word. If you do this then you're Light Fae, with everything that being aligned comes with. You know I've always hoped you'd join the Light but -"

"So then what's the problem?" Bo said, her voice brittle, disappointment making her snap. She'd expected gratitude, not a lecture about why she was doing the wrong thing. Sometimes it felt like all people ever did was tell her how little she knew about being fae.

"Because I don't want to be the one who's responsible for forcing your hand. I don't want you to wind up resenting me because you've made a choice you never wanted to make in the first place. It's just swapping my bondage for yours, I know you can see that," Lauren said, her tone calm and measured. Bo's stubbornness meant that she needed to make a good case for Bo to even listen to her.

"And I think _you_ can see that it's not exactly the same. I wouldn't be a slave. I could come and go as I please. He wouldn't own me," Bo replied.

"The whole time I've known you, you've talked about not being controlled by the fae, so don't be. If you do this against my wishes you're not behaving any differently to how he does," Lauren said. Her hand touched the side of Bo's face and Bo blinked rapidly; Lauren's returning to her shoulders a moment later when she realised what she was doing.

Bo put her hands up, her fingers encircling Lauren's wrists. "Don't say that. I'd be doing this for you, not because I want you to owe me one or something."

"I know that too," Lauren said. At last she took her hands away and sat down next to Bo on the bed so that she couldn't see Bo's soft brown eyes. They were beginning to overwhelm her.

"Although I have to admit that being your knight in shining armour might have had something to do with the appeal," Bo laughed to try and lighten the mood.

"Is that so?" Lauren said. Bo looked at the side of her face and could see that she were smiling, but it disappeared rapidly. "Do I have your word?"

"Okay. I promise," Bo agreed. "I wasn't sure about it anyway. But only if you promise to let me help you so we can figure something else out."

"Deal. But it needs to be on my own terms. You've got to understand, it's not going to be simple for me either way. I don't have a whole lot of life to go back to."

"What about your girlfriend? Nadia?" Bo's eyes cut to the side, watching Lauren's fingers intertwining as she nervously played with her hands.

"I wouldn't do that to her. She's been gone for four years. I'm sure we've both moved on to other people," Lauren said. Her words hung in the air while Bo worked through their meaning, wondering if she was referring to Ava. And then Lauren was up. "Well, I should go."

Lauren moved towards the door and Bo followed. Lauren turned back to her. "Thank you . . . for even entertaining the notion. Like I said, you don't know what it means to me."

Bo nodded at her, unable to speak. She didn't want Lauren to go but was at a loss as to how to keep her close. Lauren drew forward and put her hands on Bo's shoulders once more, then leaned to press her lips gently to Bo's forehead. As she stepped back her fingers trailed down the side of Bo's face and Bo grasped at them before they could be pulled away again. She swallowed hard as Lauren gazed at her, frowning subtly.

"What?" Bo asked her. "What's wrong?"

Neither of them would have been able to say who moved first, which one of them made the decision that it was going to happen.

Bo put her hands behind Lauren's head to keep her close, to pull her in. She felt herself getting turned and pushed towards the wall but all of her was focussed on Lauren's mouth; hot and wet and sweet-tasting. They were both panting in the seconds when they pulled away, looking into one another's eyes and seeing their own desire reflected. Bo's stomach had plummeted to somewhere around her feet and all conscious thought had left her mind in the heat of it.

After long kisses Lauren tugged at the belt of Bo's robe, pulling it open and leaving her nowhere to hide. Bo gasped as Lauren's long fingers slid inside and brushed against her ribs and upwards, dangerously close to her breasts. Lauren's forehead rested against her own, watching her. They'd broken their kiss but Lauren leaned in and tasted her lips, once then again.

Swallowing hard, Bo pushed herself forward, closer still. She wanted that hand between her legs, desperate for the sensation of having Lauren inside of her again. She was seconds away from taking Lauren's hand and moving it downwards, but she fought for restraint.

This was spinning out of control. Bo bit her lip as Lauren's hand brushed underneath her breast, her touch feather-light, her fingers asking the question of whether she was allowed to go further.

"We should stop," Lauren finally said aloud, though she sounded not at all like she wanted to.

"No . . ." Bo said, her breath coming quick and hard. She didn't want this to end, and yet she didn't want it to be like this either. She didn't want anything she had with Lauren to be about cheating.

"Wait, yes, stop," she said, closing her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see Lauren's face any more.

Lauren's hand retreated immediately, and she re-tied Bo's robe with care, looking downwards at it and frowning again. Bo tentatively put a hand over one of Lauren's.

"I don't want to see you any more," Lauren said bluntly, pulling her hand away. She felt broken down and raw. This was what she'd wanted, even more so since Bo had kissed her while they were dancing, and yet it wasn't at all what she hoped for.

In her weaker moments she didn't even care that Bo was with Dyson – she just wanted her no matter the circumstances. The reality was starkly different. Being _the other woman_ made her feel so solitary and so wrong. She was very angry and hurt that Bo could treat her this way, something to be picked up when she was bored with her real relationship. Lauren spent her time feeling confused and she'd never been more so than when the Ash had come to her to tell her about Bo's questions. She wanted to believe that Bo cared for her as much as she did for Bo, but all the pieces didn't fit.

"Don't say that. You're one of the most important people in my life. We can be friends, can't we?" Bo pleaded.

"I don't know. I need to think. Goodnight," Lauren said as she slipped away, any other words dying on her lips.

Bo lay down on her bed, deliberately slowing her breathing, trying to get a hold on herself. Even Lauren's angry words hadn't dulled the passion coursing through her. It was not so long ago that she couldn't have imagined cheating on Dyson. She wanted to touch herself, do something to relieve the unbearable tension that had just built up in her.

It would only make her more hungry, and thinking about Lauren while she did it would only magnify her guilt.

She rolled over and buried her face in her pillow.

X X X

Lauren walked all the way home, hoping that the cold air might soothe her somehow. It was a cliché that she would never have indulged herself in thinking before, but her body was on fire.

Even her face burned hot, thinking about what she'd just done. She must be losing her mind, and she was torn between chastising herself and believing that she would do it all again as soon as she had the chance.

There had always been a streak of the thrill-seeker about her. It surprised people, and at times it even surprised her, but it was part of who she was. She thought of it as a safety valve that released the pressure that built up in her when she was working too hard or feeling too much. It was what brought her to work in The Congo, and it was what made working for the fae not as daunting as it might otherwise have been. And now, it was what made her keep returning to Bo even when she knew that it was dangerous for her heart.

She and Ava had settled into a friendship over the past few weeks, quickly transitioning from barely-lovers to something much more meaningful. After that last time Bo had kissed her, she'd sought someone to drink with and laugh over her own stupidity. Ava had fit the role better than she ever would have thought.

Ava thought love was hilarious, she'd seen so much of it. She said that love was another drug that humans invented to entertain themselves, and that if Lauren was ever going to get over it then she needed to go cold turkey.

She'd tried. After a few days she'd forced herself to stop waiting by the phone for Bo to call. She'd deleted Bo's number even though she'd memorised it, because at least now her fingers wouldn't hover over her name in the phone book every time she were feeling weak.

And then the Ash had summoned her to talk to her about Bo's offer. He'd had to repeat himself to make her understand, because she simply could not believe that Bo would do something like that - especially without discussing it with her.

It had been inconceivable that she wouldn't go straight to her. And now here she was, back to square one again. Actually, back to minus that, because her craving had just been intensified by a thousand times.

She uttered a quiet groan, and walked on.


	11. Chapter 11

****_**Alrighty, I'm going to stop stringing you alone like Bo does to Lauren and post the last few chapters as promised. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and putting up with my navel gazing writing style ;)**  
_

**Chapter Eleven**

The phone sat on the floor by the bed, buzzing endlessly as it lay unanswered. Every now and then she picked it up and began composing a text message. She'd invariably put it back down again when words failed her or she started finding herself scrolling through her phone book towards Lauren's name. She was procrastinating for as long as she could, and had spent a sleepless night mentally rehearsing what she was going to say to him and hadn't come up with much. All she knew was that it had gotten past the point where she could lie anymore.

At last she dragged herself up out of bed and showered, listlessly getting dressed, feeling like she was going to a funeral. This was one thing she did not feel impulsive or bold about; she just felt like shit.

When she got to Dyson's place he let her in without a word, his expression blankly unhappy. His beard was untrimmed and he looked as tired as she felt. They sat on the bed, side-by-side. Dyson didn't seem to want to look at her - it was easier this way. Bo gazed at the floor, thinking about how similar and not-similar it was to the position she'd been in with Lauren the night before. He even had his fingers laced together in the same nervous way.

"What were you doing that was so important that you couldn't take my calls?"

"Nothing. I just needed some time to think."

"Think about what?"

All of her preparation had come to nothing, because she had no idea what to say. He'd done nothing wrong; there was nothing to accuse him of. It was going to be hard to sit there and admit that she had screwed everything up and that she was the one at fault.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" Dyson sighed. Bo paused, still trying to come to a decision about exactly how much she wanted him to know, when he interrupted her train of thought. "You know everyone's talking about this offer the Ash made you. Maybe you can start with telling me why you're so concerned with having Lauren freed?"

"She's a _person, _not a thing. The Ash shouldn't be able to own anybody's life. It's medieval," Bo replied. She started chewing on her thumb - she was at a significant disadvantage and hadn't expected him to confront her about that. Word had really gotten around fast.

"It's the way it's done. She entered into an agreement, and besides, you don't understand that it's not all bad. She's protected, nobody would dare harm her," Dyson explained with a veneer of patience that Bo guessed would break any minute.

"I don't care how it's always been done. What if it were Kenzi?" she snapped, her anger taking over. She had meant to be contrite with him no matter what, but the stress and lack of sleep hadn't helped at all. He'd always known how to push her buttons when it came to Lauren and now was no exception.

Dyson sighed again. "But it's not Kenzi. You know you can't trust her. And you should have stayed out of it."

"Don't tell me what to do," Bo said, crossing her arms defensively.

"You're like a child," Dyson replied. "Are you actually going to go through with this? Because I think you owe me an explanation. How many times have I tried to talk to you about joining us?"

"No, I'm going to go through with it, she asked me not to actually."

"Oh really, and when was this? Is that why you were too busy to take my calls?"

Bo drew in a deep breath and held it for a moment, resisting the urge towards flight. They both knew what they were really fighting about, and all of this dancing around was exhausting.

"I haven't been faithful to you," Bo said. The sentence sounded cold and shocking as it left her mouth, just like she'd feared.

He turned and they finally looked at one another, his eyes full of surprise. She understood that although he'd feared it, he'd never really believed that it would happen. It made her sick to talk about it and to disappoint him. He deserved someone who wanted him as much as he wanted them and who wouldn't stray. The initial conviction that she was that person, held so strongly by her for a while, had turned out to be a lie. What she had never anticipated was that in the end it had nothing to do with her nature and everything to do with Lauren.

"I'm sorry Dyson. I really am."

He grunted at her incredulously, her apology offensive. "Have you been sleeping with her this whole time?"

"No, not since that time from before that you knew about. But . . . I've wanted to. I'm sorry," she said again in a rush.

"Okay." He was quiet for a long time. "We can move past this. I think I can, if I try. You just have to promise me that you'll stop seeing her, at all."

"I can't do that. I'm sorry," she said.

He flinched at her words. "I wish you'd stop saying that you're sorry."

"Dyson, it's over." She had never envisioned saying those words up until the last twenty-four hours, and after they were out of her mouth she felt a surge of panic. "I'll always want you in my life and love you in a way. We're on the same team. But I feel like we don't work together."

The tears that had been threatening to fall finally spilled over, and she started to cry. Nobody had ever told her how much it hurt to be the one doing the heart-breaking.

They had it out, fighting until they were exhausted. Dyson said some nasty cutting things about their relationship, and so did she. A weird kind of peace came over them both once they were done, and when there was nothing left to say Bo left for home feeling a reaching emptiness.

It didn't take long to tell Kenzi the whole story, mainly because there wasn't much that Kenzi hadn't guessed at. If Kenzi thought that she was an idiot then she was wise enough to not say so, and she held Bo while she cried.

"So this is what a break up feels like huh? I never really had one before," Bo mused. "You know I didn't even know I was going to do it really? It just came out. But I know it's right."

"At least you left him alive." Kenzi quipped and Bo smiled sadly. "Sorry, too far?"

"No. I could do with reminding that this isn't the end of the world. Sometimes stuff doesn't work out, and that's okay." Bo said. She was already glimpsing a time when this was all going to be behind her. At least there was no doubt in her mind that she'd done the right thing. There was a great deal of relief to be had in finally telling the truth to herself about how she felt.

"True that. And I can guide you through this whole process. I haven't had that many break-ups myself but I _have_ watched a lot of movies, and I'm pretty sure we're supposed to eat a lot of ice cream and bitch about men."

"Thanks, but I'd really rather have a beer," Bo giggled through her tears.

"Honey, you can have ten beers if you want," Kenzi said. She began searching the fridge. "All we have is this half-finished red wine though."

"That'll do." Bo sank back down onto the couch, slumping against the back of it and gratefully accepting the glass Kenzi brought over.

"So what happens now. Are you going to go and tell Lauren you looooove her?" Kenzi said in a sing-song voice.

Bo laughed and then abruptly stopped, Kenzi's words making her nervous. "I don't _love_ her, I just care about her a lot."

Kenzi looked at her suspiciously. "Right. Why do you always downplay everything when it comes to her?"

Bo lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "I don't know. I didn't break up with Dyson _just_ because of her. I don't think I would have ever cheated if I were truly happy with him, know what I mean?"

"Yeah of course, but it had a lot to do with it though, didn't it? So why doth the lady protest so much all of the time?" Kenzi was looking at her with those big eyes, and Bo grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it to herself. If the next words out of Kenzi's mouth were about how Lauren couldn't be trusted she didn't know how she was going to handle it. Her gut had been telling her for a while now that she _could_ put her faith in Lauren again, but what if she were wrong?

"You're not exactly her biggest fan," Bo said, trying to keep it simple.

"Yeah well if she does anything to you again I'm going to break her legs, but I'd really rather you just go ask her out. If you spend any more time hanging around here mooning after her like she's lesbian Edward Cullen it'll only make me want to vomit," Kenzi said.

"I'll think about it," Bo replied. Butterflies has started fluttering around in her stomach at the idea. It was clear that Lauren was still attracted to her, but she didn't know how much more there was to it than that. Lauren had made it clear that she wasn't impressed with the way she'd been acting. The idea of trying to find out if Lauren could forgive excited her. She wanted to embark on that whole series of 'firsts' with Lauren – just doing normal things – only they would feel anything but mundane if they were doing them together.

She didn't want to be tacky about it, to go rushing over there right after she'd broken up with Dyson, even though that was _exactly_ what her impulses were pushing towards. It wouldn't be fair to Lauren. She was going to have to force herself to wait a little.

X X X

Lauren winced at the strong taste of the tequila, and then again as she bit into the bitter lemon that followed

"Good girl, take your medicine," Ava said teased as she put down her own shot glass and immediately started preparing for the next one. With delicate movements she rubbed salt along the space between her index finger and thumb after licking it. She offered Lauren the salt shaker and Lauren shook her head.

"I need to rest for a minute, I have to work tomorrow," Lauren laughed when Ava shot her a nasty look.

"So do I. In fact I have to work in about . . . six hours," she pointed out, squinting at her watch. "But I'm a good friend. So tell me, what did she do now?"

"We kissed. Again," Lauren said glumly, then explained what had led to her going to Bo's in the first place. "I feel like I'm going nuts Ava. I can't stop thinking about it, every minute of the day, and it's not getting any better. I told her I don't want to see her any more, but I don't know if I can even stick to it. I don't know if I want to."

"It'll work out," Ava announced breezily, then nodded to herself.

Lauren waited patiently for Ava to continue talking. Was that it? In all her knowledge of love and years of experience, that was all she could offer? She supposed she might be beginning to bore Ava with all her stories of Bo – she couldn't exactly blame her when she was getting quite bored with herself.

"I know. I'm acting like a fool. I don't know when I turned into the kind of person who chases after a woman in a relationship. I've never done anything like this before," Lauren said self-consciously. "We can talk about something else if you like."

"Look, it's going to work out. She loves you intensely, I'm more sure of that than ever. She's not going to be able to resist it forever, she's about to frickin' explode," Ava said, her eyes widening as she described it.

"Why do you keep changing your advice? You told me to try to quit the whole thing, go cold turkey?" Lauren said, exasperated.

Ava raised her eyebrows at Lauren. "Oh please, _advice_? Nobody ever takes love advice, most of what I say is just an attempt to make you feel better. I told you to quit it because you're so miserable, but I doubt that you can. She loves you. You love her. There's nothing keeping you apart, not really."

Lauren shook her head at Ava's oversimplifications. She threw back her head and downed another shot, wondering when people were going to stop trying to fill her with false hope.


	12. Chapter 12

**Twelve**

Kenzi clicked her fingers in front of Bo's face. "Bo!"

Bo jumped in her seat on the third click and shoved Kenzi's hand out of her face. "What?"

"I said, _how long are you going to do this for?"_ Kenzi said with her hands cupped around her mouth as though she were yelling from a great distance.

"Do what?"

"Look at yourself," Kenzi replied. "Take a good, long look at yourself." When Bo kept her eyes trained on Kenzi's face in confusion, Kenzi pointed downwards. It was late and Bo hadn't dressed yet; she was wearing what Kenzi referred to her as her "sexy lady porn type" underwear and her robe. But she hadn't applied make-up for a couple of days or done her hair, mainly because she'd barely left the house. Right now she'd just been staring off into space with her chin in her hands.

"I'm fine Kenzi, I'm just taking a little time for myself. It's healthy," Bo snapped.

"It'd be healthy if you were just trying to get over Dyson, but you're not. You're mooching around over Lauren, doing exactly what I made you promise not to do. You have to talk to her," Kenzi urged.

Bo denied it for a few moments and then had no choice but to admit that it were true, throwing her hands up. "Okay, alright. I've tried to call her. I had to call her like, three times before she picked up, and when asked if I could come around she said it wasn't a good time. She said she didn't want to see me any more but I didn't think she meant it. What if she did?"

Kenzi frowned and shook her head. "Maybe the Ash is keeping her busy, it could be anything. Why don't you just tell her you broke up with Dyson anyway?"

"I didn't even get a chance to do that. She didn't sound like she wanted to talk to me at all," Bo said morosely. It was chewing her up inside, and she couldn't stop worrying that maybe Lauren had grown tired of her and moved on. Or maybe what was happening with Ava was more serious than she'd ever thought, or Lauren was so pissed at her that she was never going to forgive her. Kenzi was right in that it 'could be anything'; she just couldn't imagine that it could possibly be anything she wanted to know about.

"Well dummy, you're never going to know unless you just ask," Kenzi said. "I don't know how you can act like you're Buffy The Vampire Slayer when you're out there kickin fae ass and then the Cowardly Lion in your love life. Grow a pair."

X X X

Bo knocked hesitantly on the door again, her eyebrows drawn down with worry. Although it was evening she'd tried the lab first knowing how likely it was that Lauren would be working late. What if Lauren were out with Ava? Intellectually she'd always known it were a possibility, but the thought infuriated her. It made her knock harder and more consistently on the door even though she was now quite sure that the apartment was empty.

She almost fell forward when the door opened just as she was leaning forward to bang on it. A noise of surprise rushed forward from her mouth. A surge of relief and then anger went through her when she realised that if Lauren were home it meant that Lauren had been purposefully ignoring her while she stood here like an idiot.

"Did you not hear me? I've been knocking for the past five minutes," Bo said, upset.

Lauren looked at her silently, her mouth opening to speak and then closing just as quickly. She stepped aside to let Bo in and she passed by Lauren closely, their eyes locking as Bo brushed against her.

Bo turned to glance at Lauren as she walked inside and saw Lauren with her arms crossed, her brown eyes sad.

When Bo had come over here she'd been full of fantasies about sweeping Lauren off her feet - making some big romantic speech - only now she was more angry than she ever meant to be. She felt that she'd been denied before she could even try, and dealing with rejection did not come easily for her. When she spoke she softened her tone so that Lauren might stop looking at her like that.

"Where have you been the last couple of days? I've been trying to call you . . ."

Lauren shrugged and finally spoke with difficulty. "Like I told you, I thought it was best if we didn't see one another for a while."

Bo shook her head, frustrated. After how connected she'd felt to Lauren that night, and how difficult it was to just let her leave like that, she found it hard to understand how Lauren could make that decision regardless of what she'd said. "So you thought you'd just ignore me? Treat me like I don't exist? Nice."

"It's no different to what you do to me when it suits you," Lauren said quietly, calmly, steadily holding her ground.

"When, after you screwed me because your boss told you so? I don't see how that's the same thing," Bo said, upset by Lauren's words. She noticed how Lauren flinched. Those wounds were still raw after all of this time but her words were unfair nonetheless – she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I think there a few things we need to talk about."

"I just need some space from you," Lauren said, her breath catching. Bo's presence was so big, she filled the whole room even now, and Lauren felt inexorably drawn to her.

"Lauren_," _Bo crossed over and went to take Lauren by the shoulders, to start to explain to Lauren how she felt, but Lauren quickly pulled out of her arms and took two steps back from her. "Wait."

"I've _been_ waiting. I'm not going to hang around any more waiting for you to want to see me. I'm sick of the way you treat me," Lauren said. It was one of the only times Bo had seen Lauren angry. She was shaking with it, but Bo could read her well enough to know that it may not be the only reason. As always when they were in one another's presence they were sparking off one another, the energy between them rolling in waves.

Bo, undeterred due to that very fact, reached for Lauren again. This time Lauren didn't pull away but she stood stiffly staring at Bo.

_Right_, Bo thought to herself. It was time for that big romantic speech, only the problem was that she wasn't very good at this sort of thing. All she knew was that she couldn't leave without Lauren. She couldn't walk out of that door having Lauren still thinking that she was anything less than essential to her.

"I_ do _want to see you, all the time. I think you're the most interesting, wonderful, smart, sexy . . . awesome person that I've ever met. That's what I've been wanting to tell you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that sooner," Bo said. Okay, so the words weren't exactly straight out of one of Shakespeare's Sonnets, but they would have to do.

Lauren's expression changed slightly, softening and easing, but her face was now clouded with confusion. "Of course you haven't – you can't. If you think I'm going to just take a little piece of you while you go home every night to Dyson, well then you don't know me at all - "

"That's not what I'm asking for. I ended things with Dyson." Bo ran her hands up and down Lauren's shoulders, and Lauren allowed her to.

"When?" Lauren asked sceptically, afraid to believe it.

"Just after the last time I saw you. I realised I had to make a choice, and well, it was actually an easy one to make. I know we don't know each other all that well yet, but what's there already . . . it's intense . . ." Bo said, still grappling with making her thoughts and words meet.

If you watched Lauren's face closely enough you could see the mix of emotions in her eyes, which had the lightest sheen barely visible tears. Now she was breathing more quickly, her chest rising and falling. Now she was watching Bo's lips intently.

Bo felt her heart give a tumble. She lifted her hands to Lauren's face, taking it in her hands. "So what do you say?"

Lauren didn't answer, she just leaned forward and their lips brushed together softly, both of them in-taking their breath sharply from the contact at the same time. Bo pulled away for a second; if they got started too soon she was never going to get out all of the other things she'd wanted to talk about.

"Wait – and what about you?" she was already breathless herself from the brief touch of Lauren's mouth.

Lauren rolled her eyes and smiled. Her hand was in Bo's hair and she brushed her thumb across Bo's cheek. "What _about _me? You must know how I feel about you by now . . . you must know I've been waiting for you . . . "

"No, I mean what about Ava? I know I maybe don't have the right to say anything after being with Dyson but are you going to talk to her soon? I'm serious about this, are you?" Bo asked biting her lip nervously. She was impatient to have this talk over and done with – Lauren's body was tantalisingly close - but found that she couldn't let the idea go too easily.

"Whatever we had, it's been over for quite a while now," Lauren said, bemused. She supposed she'd never gotten around to explaining any of it to Bo. It just hadn't seemed important.

"Oh. She said otherwise last time I saw her . . . are you sure?" Bo asked. She couldn't resist leaning in and stealing another kiss, this time gently biting Lauren's lower lip between her own. It was becoming hard to focus on the conversation when all she could think about was all of the things she was going to do to Lauren, now that there might be nothing keeping them apart.

"Sounds like she was just messing with you. She can be kind of a psychopath like that, but you might like her if you get to know her," Lauren commented, stealing a kiss of her own. This time the merging of their lips went on for longer, Lauren hooking her fingers into the waistband of Bo's pants and tugging her forward, earning a gasp from Bo. "You sound jealous," Lauren said against her mouth.

"That's because I am," Bo said, suddenly pushing her hand up Lauren's shirt and placing her palm over Lauren's heart. "I want to be the only one who gets to have you."

"You've never had anything to worry about, ever," Lauren said. They finally melted into kissing, fierce and hot, Lauren pulling at the back of Bo's hair as their tongues danced against one another's.

X X X

"We should go on a date," Bo said. Her whole body felt like liquid and her voice sounded lazy and slow. They were laying against one another, their bodies touching from almost the tips of their toes to the tops of their heads.

"Where would you take me?" Lauren replied, smiling. She sensed that Bo was almost asleep and she herself was drifting towards it. She felt achy and spent and deliriously happy, her skin slick with sweat. It hadn't been like the first time at all, when Bo had been so afraid of hurting her. It had been just as tender and sweet but there had been no holding back. As tired as she was she couldn't wait to feel it again – the sensation of being the object of the most intense desire and focus that she'd ever known.

"Anywhere you wanted to go," Bo whispered against Lauren's temple, kissing her gently into sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thirteen/Epilogue**

Bo tip-toed across the room, pulling off her boots and laying them softly on the ground beside the bed so that they wouldn't make a noise. Next she unzipped her pants and struggled out of the tight leather, smiling to herself as she cursed _that_ particular fashion choice. Without taking her eyes off Lauren as she slumbered, she pulled her tank top over her head and unhooked her bra.

Bo frowned, conflicted between wanting to let Lauren sleep and needing to wake her up. Morning seemed like such a very long time to wait until she could talk to her, or touch her. But then Lauren again was the sort of person who relaxed so rarely that it would be criminal to interrupt a deep sleep. Bo decided to let Lauren continue resting and congratulated herself on her selflessness as she crawled into bed. It took a saint to make such a decision - especially when the sheets were half off - exposing the very appealing view of Lauren in only a T-shirt and her underwear.

Bo was still reflecting on how she was turning out to be a really Good Girlfriend when the lifeless form suddenly became very active, flipping her over onto her back and pinning her arms gently above her head before letting them go. Bo released a noise somewhere between a gasp of surprise and a moan as Lauren kissed her, her lips warm and velvet, making her own lips feel sensitive and raw through the magic of their contact.

"You're awake," Bo said, gleefully stating the obvious.

"I was waiting for you," Lauren said, her hand sliding over hip and waist as she leaned back in for another taste of Bo's lips.

Bo could feel the smile on her own face, big enough to split it in two.

_The first time they'd gone out on a date had been an abject failure. They'd awkwardly worked their way through a dinner at a fancy restaurant; unsure how to behave around one another after all the complex history and in such a different setting. Bo, out of her depth among more sophisticated guests, had felt herself withdrawing. She worried that she might not be able to live up to Lauren's expectations. She'd never much thought about the fact that they came from such different worlds. Everything she said sounded silly so she thought it might be better to not speak at all and concentrated on trying not to make a fool of herself._

_By the time they'd left the restaurant she'd felt dispirited, and hoped that Kenzi would be home to join her in commiserations and a drink. She was conscious of the way she'd dressed down to the lacy black underwear she'd worn, full of delicious anticipation for being with Lauren again. Now she was beginning to assume that they were going to part ways at the end of the night because it was hard to imagine anyone making the first move. She didn't have the heart to try - not when she was starting to feel sure of rejection. Lauren's aura, usually burning bright, tonight was clouded and unreadable._

_She'd offered Lauren a ride home and when she pulled over to the side of the road she cut the engine hopefully; maybe they could at least share a goodnight kiss and salvage something. Finally she'd seen Lauren's energy leap towards her as she'd moved in and she felt a sense of her own power over Lauren, for which she did not need to rely on tricks. _

_They hadn't made it upstairs the first time; there hadn't been time to stop. Bo had climbed over to straddle Lauren in her seat and they'd made love like desperate teenagers, Bo's shirt and bra pushed up and her pants unbuttoned roughly, Lauren's fingers stroking her towards ecstasy. Afterwards they'd laughed in bed over their disastrous evening, Bo discovering that Lauren had felt just as out of place dining there. They agreed they'd never try for formality again. _

She pushed her hands up Lauren's shirt, feeling the warm skin against her palms, opening her mouth to invite Lauren in. In some ways this was her favourite part – right when she knew the tenderness was going to turn into something different. Something as sweet as it was fierce and vital.

Bo arched her back, pushing herself harder into Lauren, and was rewarded when Lauren moved down to graze her softly with her teeth, tongue flicking over her breast. She put a hand out to stroke Lauren's arm, her legs moving against the bed, her heel digging into the sheet as she strained against it.

_They'd been out together walking through the park, their arms linked in one another's happily, their bodies singing with the aftershocks of another night of exploration and the kind of sweet nothings that would make Kenzi gag. Lauren had noticed a passing jogger slowing down besides them and assumed that it was another person drawn by the allure of Bo. She'd had to learn to laugh at it – it would drive her crazy otherwise._

"_Well look at you two love birds," the voice was warm, deep and sarcastic._

_Lauren's head snapped around and she saw Ava standing there, panting as she tried to catch her breath. She looked between her and Bo, who was glowering at her._

"_How are you both?" Ava asked, with a hand on her hip,as cocky as ever._

"_Busy. And you're interrupting actually," Bo said abruptly, a hand possessively around Lauren's waist. Lauren had told her everything and Bo had been less than impressed; understanding how much Ava had been pulling her strings especially at the ball._

"_It's okay," Lauren said quietly to Bo, and stepped aside with Ava to talk. She looked over her shoulder to see Bo watching with a pissed expression. She drew comfort from knowing that it wasn't at all directed at her, because every time Bo's eyes passed back towards her from Ava the expression melted._

"_It's working out?" Ava said, clearly already knowing the answer. Her senses drifted outwards to taste the air and there was no need for longing now, the space between Lauren and Bo filled with nothing but pure love. Lauren nodded. She felt a surge of warmth towards Ava. She was way too arrogant and she'd played games especially with Bo, but she had helped things along in her own way._

"_You helped me through a rough time. I'm sorry I haven't called. We should catch up for a drink sometime."_

"_Sure," Ava said, knowing that Lauren would probably never reach out to her again, not really. And that was fine, because there were always more lonely people in the world. She hugged Lauren spontaneously. Her feelings towards love were forever mixed – it robbed her of what she needed, but she'd seen so much sadness that it left her with a type of satisfaction whenever people finally got their shit together. Even more so when it was an unlikely love; when people would say that they were stupid for trying._

"_Be happy," Ava said. She looked back over at Bo who was glaring furiously at her, and indulged herself one last time by throwing her a wink._

Bo tugged at the bottom of Lauren's shirt and pulled it over her head, taking in the vision of Lauren's exposed breasts and shoulders and upper arms.

Lauren was looking down at her with a similar shade of wonder. Her fingers drank in the soft planes of Bo's stomach and felt the way her waist tapered inwards. "How do you do that? You get more beautiful every time I look at you."

"It's one of my powers," Bo joked, pulling Lauren back down towards her, her hand bunched gently in Lauren's hair. She sighed when met with the sensation of Lauren's naked skin against her own. Lauren's palm came down between them and pressed against her before being swiftly removed, teasing her with the promise of what would come.

Bo took control, turning Lauren over onto her back. She ground against Lauren as she kissed her and then licked her way down Lauren's body, thrilling at starting to see Lauren come undone.

_It hadn't been easy, negotiating how this was actually going to work. At first Bo hadn't want to talk about it – she just wanted to have a normal relationship without having to worry about the things other people took for granted. Like not having to sleep with other people just to stay healthy._

"_I feel like we need to talk about this, otherwise it's going to become an issue," Lauren pushed._

"_Can't we just enjoy this for a while first?" Bo replied._

_Lauren sighed. "Bo, I'm always telling you that you have to feed for a reason. That hasn't changed just because we're together. If anything it's more important than it's ever been."_

"_Why?"_

"_You know why, because you could end up hurting me or getting sick yourself if you don't do it," Lauren brushed some of Bo's hair from her face. She knew Bo was just being contrary because she didn't want to discuss it. "We can handle this, we just need to establish some ground rules."_

"_Ground rules, like what?" _

"_Well, there are a few things that would be important to me. I guess I just want you to be open about it, no secrets . . . only no details either, I guess, I wouldn't want that. And obviously it goes without saying that you wouldn't feed from anyone else on an ongoing basis."_

"_That's not even a question, Lauren. It's an insult that you would even say that," Bo snapped._

"_I'm just trying to be honest, and communicate," Lauren defended herself. "It would be good if you'd tell me what I can do to help. What you need from me."_

"_No thanks. I can't just make a list for you about something this. I don't know how you can be so cool about it either. If it were the other way around I don't think I would be able to deal with it," Bo stated. She said a hasty goodbye, gave a distracted kiss, and left a frustrated Lauren behind._

They faced one another sitting up, Bo's legs wrapped around Lauren's waist, Lauren holding her in place with her free arm, strong and sure. Lauren was fixing her with a familiar penetrating expression that made her feel like she was all Lauren could see or think about. Bo never wanted to close her eyes against it but found that she couldn't help but do so, needing to feel everything without distraction.

She moved with Lauren's thrusts, losing herself in the feeling of Lauren around her fingers. She tried desperately to keep her attention on Lauren's pleasure though it was near impossible when she was so close, her movements becoming unfocused, but it didn't matter. Lauren was sucking then biting at her neck, and she felt herself shudder though she had left it for a moment, concentrated down to a surge of white light. She allowed herself seconds for a recovery, slack and sated, kissing Lauren's mouth tenderly. Soon she was pushing Lauren back impatiently, wanting to taste her.

It had become almost easy to resist the urge to feed. It was reflexive, and she no longer worried about whether or not she were going to be able to control herself. Her confidence had grown with every time until she knew that she could do anything; she knew that Lauren's faith in her was justified.

_They hadn't spoken for almost a day after that. Lauren had waited patiently for Bo to come back, once she'd been alone with her fear and her demons. Now Lauren kissed her, pouring everything into it. She knew what place Bo's anger was coming from – hatred for herself and what she was. No matter how long it took, she wanted to help Bo accept herself. She wanted Bo to love what she was as much as she did._

"_Do you think it doesn't kill me to think about you with other people? It rips my heart out too. But I _love _you, and I want us to work together on this. We can find a way to make this okay," Lauren insisted._

"_Okay," Bo said, her throat a little thick with tears. "Thank you." She paused for a moment. "Did you mean to say that?"_

"_Depends on your response," Lauren said wryly, smiling with what looked like it might be false bravado._

_She'd imagined hearing those words but hadn't banked on their power. Now she knew that she could say them any time she wanted. She didn't have to whisper, she didn't have to mouth them to herself to see how they sounded. She could say them out loud._

"_I love you too," Bo blurted out, elated. _

_She lay safe inside Lauren's arms, and smiled._


End file.
